Excuse me...??!!

Living through 20’s, 30’s…100!

2010-08-11T13:23:00.000+05:30

Innocent infanthood to rebellious teenage, life is really somewhat bridled, because that’s what is absolutely necessary, in my opinion. What after that? That’s when I think the real life begins. There is a particular way in which I thought I should live, am I living it that way? Not sure.

I was thinking about how I should lead my life, keeping values, ethics and principles in place and encompassing all the experiences one is likely to have during their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s etc… then the ‘Mantra’ for life, as I call it, happened. This is exciting … provided I live to be a hundred! Bleak chances!

Plenty at Twenty (20’s)
Dirty at Thirty (30’s)
Naughty at Forty (40’s)
Thrifty at Fifty (50’s)
Healthy at Sixty (60’s)
Plenty at Seventy (70’s)
Naughty at Eighty (80’s)
Nice at Ninety (90’s)
Happy (and Dead) when Hundred

In my opinion: Each word in the 'mantra' has a positive connotation and adds to the excitement of living. It has far more meaning than just the superficial definition. The context takes over and is deep.

Iam now in the ‘Dirty’ phase! Just to throw a little light, this is when Politics (at office and in general), Ego hassles, Drive (well, in every sense ;)) etc rule the context of living through to 40. Dirty ain’t it? It is almost like life is throwing a challenge ‘Wanna play dirty?’ Hehehe!! And hey what can be done in the 30’s can’t be done later. At every phase in our life there are a few things one can do and a few one can’t.

I went through the ‘Plenty’ phase and really wish I lived that phase forever. Fun, Excitement, Friends, Adventure, Experiments etc… All in ‘Plenty’! It just seems like yesterday! Well that’s what phases are, I guess!

Can’t write about the next phase for a long time, but hey! What the heck?! I’ll live it when I get there.

Time and tide wait for no man! Enjoy living!
Life is Fun, make it happen!

The Classic Syndrome:

2010-08-11T12:06:00.002+05:30

In a day (for most of us now): 10 hours at work, 2 to 4 hours of travel to and from work, 2 hours for freshening up, breakfast and dinner, 1 to 2 hours of preparing for the next day at work, 6 hours of sleep…this is almost how a weekday looks like for professionals today. There could be additions to the hours at work, travel time and preparation time for work.

Ultimately the body and mind do not get the rest/relaxation required. Well, the weekends are for completing chores and planning for the next week and whatever free time is available is spent on the phone or in a meeting with people/friends/acquaintances to share the depression. ‘Misery seeks company’!

What’s the result?
High stress levels leading to disturbed health and relationships,
Over expectations from people (not communicated, just expected) leading to isolation, irritability, mistrust, blame and irrational behavior

Troubled personal life…Professional life sucks!!
So what do we do about it? Complain and blame!! That’s all!

In my opinion, the final deduction is what I call the classic syndrome of this era, ‘I don’t like what I have and I don’t know what I want’!

Why I say this, as mentioned in a few of my other posts, is because the life we are leading is not worth it now, (change is in your hands)for simple reasons that we work hard, earn well, spend foolishly, lose health, save for death, invest in funds and not in relationships, become mechanical in approach etc… A day is nothing but a calendar or a schedule. All our lives we live for someone else, rather the most insignificant someone else! Think of it! What do we compromise on? Where do we vent? What do we nurture?

We work for our bosses and not for our passion/happiness. We work for money alone and not for fulfillment too. We earn not to make ends meet but to create more debt. We invest (money, time and energy) to prepare for our death and not in the relationships. We are living for someone else and by others’ standards, not ours.

C’mon, honestly, think of it. Ok! if there is any disagreement, here is a test. Think of the answers to the questions below, be honest.

1.Do you have new cutlery and crockery sets at home? If yes, do you use it? Most likely not, because this is for the guests/important people … god only knows when they will arrive.
2.Again, at home, do you have a set of hand towels/face towels and bed sheets and pillow covers that are costly and new for a long time now? Do you use them? Most likely not, again it is for someone else.
3.Do you clean your wardrobe and tables and show cases every day? Do you dust and vacuum your carpet or sofa sets every day? Do you clean your bathrooms and place air fresheners and new soaps and soap boxes frequently? No! Stop kidding me by saying yes. This again is only when VIPs are to arrive home.
4.Do you have a towel that is almost thread bare and still in use by you? The answer is most likely to be yes.(Check with your folks at home, there are new ones in the cupboard)
5.Do you eat your noodles with a fork that has bent or missing tines? Do you still use an old glass which can barely stand and has dents, to drink water? Do you still eat in an old plate that has dents and moves as you eat? Yes!! The costly crockery is not for you buddy!
6.Do you have perfumes for special occasions and costumes that are stacked in your cupboard? Yes!! You don’t want to use many of them; in fact you would be surprised to see when you check that you still have some of them in your cupboard. Oh did I really buy this?

I can go on about this and more, including gifts that you may have received, gold, silver etc…but think of it! This is the reality! Anyway, you pass the test… 

Why? Oh why do we do this? Why is it ok to have the good ones stacked away for someone else while you adjust? Why is good life only when someone else comes home?

You earn the money but you do not enjoy what you deserve to. What are the priorities? What is ok for you should be ok for the guests too. So if you eat with a bad fork give it to the guest too.

The first step to get out of this dangerous syndrome is to go home pick up the good ones (all of it) from the cupboard and use them every day. Do it right away!! You earned it and you deserve it. Tell your folks at home this, they deserve it too. You live well and then help others. Invest in today as much as you are investing for the unsure tomorrow.

This weekend, do your bit. Create some space in your wardrobes and cupboards (and your hearts too). There are underprivileged people who would need the ones you use now, give it to them. They really need it. That would be a great start to ... reclamation!

Invest time and energy in relationships. Earn well and spend well. YOU are important to your friends and family as they are to you! If you don’t like what you have please know what you want and pleeez! for heaven’s sake COMMUNICATE effectively and have what you want.

What is inside is for you to use and what is outside is for you to give. (I mean at home ;))

Live YOUR life! Yours!

Vuvuzela

2010-08-04T17:20:00.001+05:30

The Football world cup is over!! Paul the Octopus has won many hearts!! The Spaniards have emerged champions! The vuvuzelas have created quite a din! And the noise lives on!!

Some celebrities, experts and common people expressed their views about Vuvuzelas. Some said it created a very annoying noise, some said it was fun and some said that it was noise pollution. Vuvuzela, also known as Lepatata, is to football just like how our DJs' famous horn sound is to the IPL Cricket matches.

In my opinion this adds to the energy and excitement on the ground and is over in 90 or 180 minutes. It is good to have this. Somehow, our news carriers have exploited this too and created famous news around this using the comments from different celebrities and people. Now the Vuvuzela is famous and so it should be.

My concern is about the unwelcome 'Vuvuzelas' that are locally available and played at odd times and near your house or on the road, blocking traffic. Iam referring to the 'Marriage bands', the other bands used during festivals, death ceremonies and the music played on loud speakers. Why doesn't anyone speak of this? This is more harmful and we actually have a law in India that bans this from 10pm to 6am and also has set a certain decibel limit.

Where is the press? Where is the media? Where is the police?
In fact most of the bands have police escorts while they break the rules and law.

This is not right, you know it, I know it and we all know it! So what?! So nothing. Why I say this is because, a few months ago I had a procession start near my house at 1am in the morning and the band played loud enough for my heart to pound really hard. I called our police control room, number 100, and there was no response, I called just dial services and took the number to the police station in my area and called. What happened? yes, you guessed it right...the number was engaged...I tried for 30minutes. Then I called the control room again and this time a miracle happened, the phone was answered and the gentleman on the line took my complaint and said that it was booked under noise pollution and that police will come there and take care of it. For the next 45minutes I went through this extreme noise with no relief. Don't know if the police arrived, anyway, it did not help.

So just when you think this is where it ended, the procession came back after 2 hours and played loud enough for the entire area to wake up and for heart patients to have seizure. Iam amused how this was done exactly during the ban hours. Also, it does not take a phone call for the police to reach, the band was loud enough even to disturb the policeman's sleep!! Hahaha!

Someone is getting married and a procession is on the road, blocking traffic for hours. Is this the idea of celebration? The groom gets cursed many a time even before he gets married. What stupidity is this? I travel 2 hours from work to home and get caught in these kinda things. Festival time, 6am, the music on the loud speaker at the street corner starts and worse still is that not many of the songs are religious and it would need god to do the famous 'Teen mar'/street dance to this music. We are living in hell and tolerating such nonsense only because we have nowhere to go.

Numerous incidents, day after day, common people put to pain, no place for the ambulance to rush, no place for the people to walk, can't rest at home, can't reach home etc etc. We live with this but make a noise about Vuvuzela that we heard on TV with volume control?! I think we need to blow the Vuvzelas till the law keepers take action. Anyway this is like a game and we might as well cheer our law makers and law keepers!! Paul the octopus what is your prediction?? Even with 8 arms I don't think you can choose the right option...there are just too many!! :)

Drive and derive!

2010-04-23T15:08:00.000+05:30

Want to be a good manager in the corporate world? Sorry, want to move from Good to Great as a manager? Much better question eh? I like that :)

If the answer to one or both of the questions is yes, then you must move on and read. Even if the answer is no, move on and read as this gives you valuable insights that the MBA classes don’t. Just for the heck of it…go on…

Now, I see most of us are ambitious and so the answer would be yes. So let’s begin.

To be a successful manager, good or Good to great, you must learn some lessons in management (self, work, people etc). Iam not a big fan of MBA theory so I’ll use practical examples and you need to drive a car or atleast do some back seat driving to derive the invaluable lessons. The session is called Drive and Derive (lessons)

Lesson 1:
Break all the rules… don’t get caught!
This is easy because just like the work environment our traffic system has rules and regulations but the majority does not follow them. While driving in peak traffic it is never easy to maintain rules because that way you’ll get delayed in reaching the destination. All others are not following rules so how can you? That is the most important lesson, when in Rome do as Romans do. We are running a rat race. Drive more and become an expert at breaking rules and getting ahead, it doesn’t matter if some people get delayed or hurt, that’s the way life is! The key is not to get caught or atleast if caught having the presence of mind to blame someone else and confuse the entire situation. This is a lesson in building personality, building managerial qualities, effective use of resources, maximizing opportunity etc

Lesson 2:
Know your opponent
This is a little tough! You got to know the power the opponent wields to harm you. Once you gauge that, you plan actions and reactions. So when you drive around and face a stressful situation with another guy on the road (read colleague at office) first check his number plate, if it is a fancy number, play it cool and resolve. If the number plate is regular look at the build of the person, if he is small just take the lead and thrash the shit out of that person. Likewise in the corporate world, look at the ID card and build of the person and take action. Some opponents are insignificant and you can thrash them even if it is your mistake, like the motorcyclists, cyclists, pedestrians etc. Trust you got the lesson. This lesson is in interpersonal skills, understanding corporate fundamentals, assertiveness, achieving success etc

Lesson 3:
Know the key people, Make the right friends
This is easy. When you ram your car into a truck or a bus the damage caused to your car is more, so watch out and be careful when you encounter these heavy vehicles. This in the corporate world is very simple; don’t take on those you cannot put down completely. The damage would be more for you. Befriend them so that you could use them to ram someone (a smaller vehicle). This is a lesson in networking and also in sales (selling your own profile)

Lesson 4:
Know who the favorites are
It does not take the brain of Einstein to figure this out. This one is for the guys: In a stressful encounter on the road if your opponent is a lady, you are never gonna make it buddy! (Sorry about that, it is in good humor. Iam not gender biased and I treat women and men as equals) Irrespective of whose mistake it is, the lady is going to get all the support. So save yourself some stress, take it easy and get going. Avoid any hint of confrontation. For the ladies this lesson is very easy to understand. In the corporate world, there are obvious favorites for the key people, do not confront them or befriend them, both ways it will cause you stress. This lesson is in developing interpersonal skills.

Lesson 5:
Make Noise!
Evidently the easiest lesson! Whether or not people like it, whether or not there is a traffic jam, for no damn reason just blow the horn! Draw attention and then make up a reason for making noise. You will see that mostly the people give way and you get ahead, they may be annoyed though. But do you care? Nah! In the corporate world it is not only enough to be skilled; you got to keep making a noise. Well all of us are by now used to blowing the horn out of habit more than necessity irrespective of the type/brand of car one drives. This lesson is for influencing skills, marketing/promotion of self!

One could be an MBA from IIM/harvard etc, one could be a gold medalist in academics but that don't matter much. You could have donkeys years of experience, you could have great values etc but that don't matter as much either.

These are the 5 important lessons that will help any professional move from good to great. There are many more lessons on Innovation, Professionalism, Performance Management etc…but I think once you start driving you will start deriving these lessons too. We are a smart lot!

Remember, the corporate world and the traffic is very similar.
Lot of vehicles/people, different types/brands, big or small, limited rules/regulations that can be exploited, same destination/goals for many, unpredictability, luck/chances/fortune play a vital role, at times your skills do not matter. So the more you drive (work) the more you derive!

Hey I forgot, you become far more successful if you practice back seat driving where your job is to increase the stress for the driver, blame the driver in case of any problem and at all other times feign ignorance of what is happening around you to give the feeling that the driver is in control. This is what you need to practice if you must reach the top of the corporate ladder. Start with friends if you cannot afford a driver ;)

Good to Great!! God save....oops! Help us!!

Passion or Caution?!

2010-04-23T13:35:00.000+05:30

Passion: Any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling!

It is a word that many of us use very frequently, a word we identify with almost every day of our lives, actually every moment. Live life with passion, work with passion etc are sentences we often hear. It is motivating to hear this and inspiring to see some people demonstrate ‘Passion’!

However we do not have a clear definition to this passion, as in every word, it is strongly subjective. A person working with passion is often judged by the result that the work produces. Most of the time it is the very result/reputation that determines the intensity of passion that the person displays… It is the visual of successful (or not) people that tells us something about passion. We take sides; some take inspiration from winners and some from underdogs.

In reality, it is the individual that knows about his/her passion and the biggest threat to that is the attempts to make the world around understand that he/she is passionate. It is here that the actual game starts, the game of life. We set out to prove to the boss, the peer, the friend, the spouse, the child, every acquaintance etc that ‘I Have Passion’. Sit up and take notice!

Now, I have to move on to the topic that is very close to me (us); corporate work culture. I believe Iam passionate and I believe that so is everyone else. But strangely that is not going to get me anywhere (so say a few wise souls).

The expected passion at work is,
1. Working long hours
2. Making the boss look good
3. Being available 24/7
4. Doing what the boss says, the boss is always right - a sure-shot way to grow ;)

I have always had a different opinion and Iam always strongly defending it. I had a discussion about this with one of my colleagues recently and I was trying to understand this particular ‘Corporate Work Management’. My point has always been, if Iam doing all that has been mentioned above, am I demonstrating any passion? If so, what passion do I have for my personal life?

I realized that in today’s world it is not ‘Passion’ it is ‘Caution’.

Don’t do this as the boss may not like it. Here, it is the only way to work. We are culturally very different. Don’t say this, don’t do this, don’t question, try to be sober, try to be in the boss’s good books, be careful of this person, he/she is well connected, don’t this and don’t that. Don’t, don’t and don’t. What a passionate life to lead?!! Wow, Iam thrilled!!

We are exercising only caution now and there is no time for passion. Even if there is it has to be passion with caution, what a joke!!

Scheming, planning and managing for that promotion. Sadly this is leading us to the non-existent world, which we all know is unreal but still believe that it exists, the world of success! I really do not know how to describe success, Excuse me!!!

It is painful to see so much suffering around, so many people whose self esteem is being hurt, so much compromise of self respect, so much drama and so much caution that leaves us with nothing but work on our minds all the time. In the bargain, health is lost, stress in every relationship is very high (in fact people are giving up on relationships and not the elusive world of success), there is no time to love yourself and others, No passion! The passion is dying or is it dead? I don’t know.

I would like to end by quoting what I think one of the soldiers had once said,

Iam the unwilling,
Led by the unqualified,
Doing the unnecessary,
For the ungrateful!

It‘s so full of passion. It is inspiring to think, to scratch the surface!

Iam willing to be the minority!!

PPO

2010-03-08T17:07:00.003+05:30

It has been a pleasure to see my daughter, Dhriti, grow up and I have learnt more from her growing up than she would have from me. She is 4 years and 11 months old now and just about to complete her Kindergarten education and move into primary school. Wow! That feels good!

Dhriti has been going to school ever since she turned two, school in the morning and day care by afternoon. She made some friends, learnt to speak and is learning the rights and wrongs. (Really??!!)

I have a few friends, colleagues, acquaintances etc who also have kids and we end up discussing about our kids and kids in general. Strangely what we discussed 2 to 3 years ago, when our kids were just about 1.5 to 3 years old, and what we discuss now are extremely different. Earlier discussions were about happy things, which would make us smile a lot and de-stress but now it is all about schools, homework, pressure, fees, donations etc….depressing!

Now Iam beginning to wonder about the corporatized lifestyles the young parents of today have. Now it has given rise to corporate kids and corporate upbringing.

I realized that the ‘Parenting process’ has been outsourced - PPO.

Parameters outsourced: Education – Academic and Social,
Health – Food, medical facilities etc
Entertainment – School, computers, Videogames etc

When the kid turns 2years (I know of people who put their kids in day care right from when the kid turned 6months) the pressures of managing the kid starts creeping into the conversations of the parents. Frantic searches are made to find schools/day cares that have good hygiene, that serve food, feed the kids on time, teach them the alphabet and more, give medication on time if child is unwell, teach the kids good manners/values etc.

Then it is time for primary education, where the parents look for a school that could again give good food, great (ask them to define great, they wouldn’t be able to) academic education, teach arts, crafts, music, focus on sports, have medical facilities, pick up and drop facilities etc. The kids must leave home in uniform, grow up with their classmates and teachers and return home to bosses (parents) who would just understand what the child has done, through report cards/written reports and a chat for 15minutes with the child.

Tremendous stress, pressure and expectations now start building up on the child; competition, loosely defined excellence in academics and/or sports, excellent behavior etc becomes the KRAs for the child. Summer holidays are not for relaxation or for exploration and learning from nature, because there are summer-camps to teach the kids what they have to do with their lives. Again holidays and vacations together is also time-bound and agenda bound. No freedom for the child even on such outings!

The child then grows up to face the challenges of board exams, common entrance exams, college education etc.

The schools, right from kindergarten to college charge an arm and a leg. They have started advertising about the facilities, international standards, teacher - to - student ratio, their tie-ups etc to attract the (corporate) parents. The parents fall prey to this due to peer pressure and also perceived work/relationship pressure, both of which are non-existent to a great extent.

Come to think of it, any product or service is not created by an organization; it is created by the customer’s expectations.

The child of today is growing up like a corporate kid, who spends most of the time outside of home with unreal expectations. Saturdays and Sundays have special events, parents must participate too, and expensive hobbies, expensive excursions etc are the order of the day. Money shouldn’t matter you say, I agree, but how is the child growing up? He/she only gets to be monitored by parents at home, always hears a ‘No’ from either or both of the parents, does not see happy parents, grows up with external values (good or bad is a bad decision or judgment to make now), is at home only for dinner and sleep.

The parents are always busy, making even the ‘dinner together’ look like a chore, post which they could be back on their lap tops. On a day off the parents are too tired and often complain saying ‘Iam tired, don’t disturb’, ‘I can’t come out as Iam busy or Iam not well’. Even worse, the parents fight among each other trying to divide the work of taking care of the kid, making it even more corporate (stupid). And typically on weekends it is 'ordering out' for dinner as they are too tired to cook a meal and there is too much traffic to move out. The child eats 90% of the major meals outside. The child grows up to be one of you and the blame game continues with each parent telling the other what they did wrong. Basic values are missing; the earning couples/parents don’t have a goal, a real goal (this statement holds good to only people I know and have interacted with. It is not generally judgmental. The other readers may agree voluntarily ;))! They just keep going to their offices as if they were destined to or programmed to do only that.

The worst of all is that at the end of the day the kids keep hearing complaints about how they do not have manners, are indisciplined and why they don’t have any goals in life, why they don't get good marks or ranks in classes (while some of their friends can), they are supposed to be aggressive to be on their own and that their parents can’t feed them forever etc etc.

The parents are responsible for Comparisons, (bad) demonstration of values, Judgmental talks, and lack of self discipline. What we see in the child is exactly what we are like. Why is it that we are all talk and no action? Why blame the child and burden them with unrealistic expectations!? We got to own this up.

Any child’s sense of identity, till he/she becomes a teen, is the parents. The child looks up to them and their identity is what their parents are. During the teens, the child’s identity is determined by the friends they keep and thus they have a strong group identity. Once they complete the formal education, when the real education in life begins they form their own identity.

There are various influences that go into creating a personality, namely, parents, teachers, locality, social circle, region, nation and religion.

All I have to say is that we should start being more responsible toward building a home of love and values. Our jobs are Temporary! Our influence on a growing child is Permanent!

It’s not what you leave to your children; it’s what you leave in your children.

We cannot outsource everything! That’s nature!

The stars and us

2010-01-11T15:17:00.002+05:30

Astrology has always been very intriguing. It is so compelling in effect that when you visit an astrologer to have your future read, you actually create the future that the astrologer predicts. Mostly the negative instances in life ;)

I have been to astrologers before, some of their predictions did come true and some are yet to come true. I have challenged a few and I have won a few challenges. Iam not the one who would miss out on this experience, but… excuse me!

The experience of visiting an astrologer is powerful (scary too). After the visit it occupies a certain ‘mindshare’ and after a few predictions come true the ‘mindshare’ grows, this is one place where the share never comes down!

Stars reveal, ‘You will meet with an accident during so and so time. Be careful’. Oh yeah! I have been careless till now and hence I have not had an accident and I have to be careful so that I could prepare for an accident…hahahaha! If it’s destiny how could being careful ever change it? Silly, that’s why it is called an ‘ACCIDENT’ in the first place!

‘You are likely to go through a patch of bad health when you are between 33 and 36 years of age, be careful’. What does it mean? If Iam careful wouldn’t I go through the bad phase or if I know about it now, would it make any difference. Knowing it now means that I would go through bad health even now, waiting for that period. LOL

‘When will I get married?’ The astrologer says, ‘Now your time is not right for marriage. You will get married in your 31st year. Please perform certain religious activities, wear the diamond/coral/pearl/emerald etc to ensure that you get good luck’. In the first place the person visited the astrologer because he/she is not getting married; now he/she is told that the time is not right. Wonderful, Iam anyway going to get married only in my 31st year, would buying these things mean that I would get married any earlier? If this is destiny, how will it change? And if I do get good luck will I go back to the astrologer? What Bad luck!!

‘When will I get a job?’ The response is ‘certain planets are transiting, certain planets are in exaltation, according to the stars and planetary position based on your horoscope you will not find a job for the next 6months. The period is not favorable for a new job. You must visit this temple on every Tuesday and Thursday’. Great news, as such I have not been able to find jobs, now I will even give up trying for the next 6months and focus on going to the temple at a designated time on a prescribed day. Well, if only I had displayed the same passion and discipline in my job search or in my job.

The list goes on and on… when will I be rich, when will I win over my enemies, what kind of education line should I stick to, what kind of spouse will I get etc

The answers are simple, you will get married when you want/have to, you will meet with an accident and it is out of your control, dumbo that’s why it is called an accident. You will find a job when you try harder, you will be rich if you work hard and you will be educated in the line that you have an aptitude for and you always get what you deserve!

In reality, most of us, if not all, would like to know what the future has in store for us. The moment we hear good things we become instantly energized and when we hear the bad things we are constantly/perpetually worried.

Iam not ridiculing astrology, Iam not against religious activities! I have my respect for this! I only want to say that in the equation of life, past is a constant, you/ your mind is the variable and future is what you need to create. Look at the equation, you can’t do a shit about the past, the future is what you want and the only variable in your control is your mind.

The best way to predict the future is to create it!

Go to an astrologer if you must, but remember when you are there for the experience you say ‘Jahanpanah! Tussi great ho! Tohfah kabool keejiye!’

If you have watched 3 idiots you’d know what I mean. (If you haven’t watched it yet, go right now, I predict that you will have spent 3 good hours in your life’) 

As Jack Welch said, ‘Control your destiny or someone else will’!

What we see depends mainly on what we look for!
You are a Star! Shine on!

The 25th Hour

2009-11-03T10:57:00.000+05:30

Most of the discussions (around evening time, with Irani Chai or some good drink) with friends and acquaintances seem to revolve around time, stress, life and most importantly the dreams in life!

I have always wanted to do something that would make me feel good! Plain!
Go to the gym, learn to play the guitar, learn slow dancing, some martial arts training, Travel to exotic locations, contribute to the society, RELAX etc are some of the things I WANT to do!

This is not very different from what some of my friends have shared during our discussions. Funnily, most of us have this dream about building a nice/big/huge house, have a lot of money in the bank and retire by the age of 40 and then do all the things we dream about. I must admit that talking and discussing about these things is a huge stress buster as it creates the much desired visual of a relaxed life.

Our evening discussions generally start off on a venting note…some cribs, complaints, profanity… then move into some humor, both practical and fantasy based, leading to the discussion about our dreams. The ending typically is, ‘ok! It’s time to hit the reality, stop dreaming the impossible! Go home and prepare for office tomorrow’.

Why? Because we all have just the 24 hours in a day! Just like everybody else!

No! That’s not true!

We all have the 25th hour!
The hour that is the dream! The hour that is a myth! The hour that we search for!

Does it exist? Yes it does! It is the same time that we spend on the negative influences, the time that we spend on dreaming with our eyes closed, the time that we dedicate to the TALK, the BLAME! I have now taken it upon myself to realize my dreams, one at a time, just begin to translate the ‘thoughts and talk’ into ‘actions’ and live the elusive 25th hour in every day of my life.

I will start, start now…A journey to a thousand miles starts with one small step! And as Tupac Shakur said ‘The only thing that come to a sleeping man are dreams!’

If we want to live our dreams the first step is to ‘Wake Up’ not get up!

I have one life, a life I want to live and realize the myriad dreams that I had so clearly seen! I will clear the dust that has blurred the vision (of my dreams) and dream endlessly as it is the greatest gift to mankind. I will dream now and make it happen; I will have the 25th hour and make it mine!

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler – Henry David Thoreau

Random acts… Specific needs

2009-10-13T14:57:00.002+05:30

We Need, We want and we look for:
Validation, Acknowledgement, Recognition,
Kindness, Courtesies, Magnanimity
Happiness, Elation, Bliss
Reciprocation, Understanding, Consideration
Love, Affection, Adulation
Authenticity, Genuineness, Originality
Trust, Certainty, Confidence
Abundance, Fortune, Prosperity
Progress, Success, Victory
Intent, Ambition, Purpose
Sensitivity, Connection, Harmony
Convenience, Comfort, Pleasure

The Acts:

?

Try,
Integrity, Values, Belief
Morals, Scruples, Conscience

Slumdog Millionaire!

2009-09-08T14:50:00.004+05:30

Iam frustrated! Why? Because I have worked for 7 different organizations in 11 years and Iam having to do the explaining to the prospective employers every time I shift. It is an emotional drain.

Why would I want to shift, is the question every one asks. The reality is; it is either because the job sucks/the manager sucks or plainly because the company is on the verge of a shutdown or Iam the victim of ‘Re-structuring’.

I think Naukri or Monster, don’t know which ad, beautifully depicts the current employment scenarios. A cricketer is shown washing clothes, a dancer is seen manning the signals for an aircraft in taxi mode, a rock guitarist teaching kids etc. This is the unfortunate reality. Most of the people I know (me included) are stuck to their jobs because of various commitments, almost everyone is in search of that ‘dream job’. I feel so dwarfed at times when I experience the ‘system’ (now that’s an entirely different topic :)).

Funny, when an organization could interview 100 odd candidates to select the ‘right fit’ for a role, why can’t a ‘Human resource’ do the same? Why shouldn’t he/she work in an organization and decide if it is right for him/her? The organizations evaluate performance and decide if the resource could stay or not, why can’t I? The organizations want overnight results, why can’t I? Well, we always have the system to blame; it is bigger than any normal/average individual.

Some of the wise and experienced professionals say ‘Loyalty’ or ‘long stints’ in an organization talks about one’s stability. Well, I know that when water stagnates it stinks and becomes a breeding ground for disease bearing organisms. Iam not disagreeing with what they say Iam just differing in my view! There is an adage in Hindi that says ‘The water that flows is pure’.

Then there are multiple human resource management, culture, organizational development theories that our MBAs and managers are exposed to, which are only used in a negative sense as though it applies only to the ‘Others’.

Iam a Human Resource, who, like any other resource needs to be harnessed well to reap the benefits. Human resources are not just tools! Well, in letter we have moved from HRM to Talent Management, Talent Retention, Talent Building etc, but in spirit, are we there?

Here’s what Jack Welch said, “HR matters enormously in good times and it defines you in bad.”
Never get emotionally attached to an organization, you never know when it won’t need you, Move out if you must! This is something in essence to what Narayana Murthy once said.
Deadwood stays, Talent moves! This is something I think Azim Premji said.

The reality is, managing a Human resource is a far bigger skill; it is not merely ‘handling’ employees. I could pull up a lot of theories now and start building a case, but it is not exciting for me to do it anymore. It is humbug, because most of the senior people I know use theories to talk big and in practice they demonstrate nothing. It is a matter of pride for us to know the theories and showcase it in interviews. When the rubber meets the road the true colors come out!

There is a place for everyone in this world and it is not right to be judgmental.

My reality is, Iam a ‘Slumdog Millionaire’, Iam educated with the several experiences I have gone through. I don’t need to possess educational ‘qualifications’ (though I have quite a few qualifications that way) or professional stability (loosely defined by others as loyalty to an organization) to answer the 'questions'. And just like in the movie such abilities may be doubted but the reality is, experience is a far bigger teacher and I will be a ‘Billionaire’! I just need to be at the right place at the right time! My quest is on for that right place! If it is non-existent maybe I’ll create one! All of us should build castles in air and remember to put strong foundations under them.

Shakespeare said 'Cowards die many a time before their deaths but the brave only die once'. I have a different connotation in this context and I leave it to the imagination of others to interpret. It is the beauty of life; fortunately, one size does not fit all!!

There are more such ‘Slumdog Millionaires’! Wait, the opportunity will soon knock!

Relationship:

2009-07-27T11:30:00.002+05:30

Relationship; can’t think of anyone who can live without one!
But what is it?! Relationship is nothing but expectations! Some of it is said and some is unsaid, some are cultural and some are personal etc! Remember, the strength of the relationship is always inversely proportional to the number of expectations (said and unsaid).

I have always wondered what makes it tick. Everything in the world is ‘Relative’! We have acquaintances, friends, relatives, blood relatives, so on and so forth! We have pigeon holes to slot our relationships. Today, with the increased stress levels (make-believe! Actually it is the increased awareness of the social rights and wrongs) the key word that is on everybody’s mind and lips is ‘Relationship’. We also have the added pressure of defining good and bad relationship. It’s so relative.

What makes it tick? I have a few thoughts to share from my 33 years, 150 Days, 3 hours and 42minutes of living!

In any relationship,

Think not, that communication is (only) in what is being said!
Know that, it is (also) in the unsaid!

Think not, that intimacy is only in physical presence!
Believe that, it is in spirit!

Seek not, to (only) understand the problems!
Strive (also) to be a part of the solution!

Don’t look for, ‘what I can but you don’t’!
Look for what I can’t and you do!

Think not that happiness is (only) in the doing!
Believe that it is (also) in the being!

Think not, that celebration is (only) in an occasion!
Believe that living is celebrating!

Think not that ‘differences’ is the enemy
Believe and make it your friend!

In trouble, don’t (only) think, ‘Oh God! Please take care!’
Believe that when you care you even please god!

Sometimes, when a relationship begins and takes shape it is like chasing a rainbow to find the treasure pot at its end! In the relationship, sometimes, you enter a tunnel, a dark tunnel; you keep walking, sure that there is light at the end. You walk a distance and start thinking, ‘Is there light?’ The tunnel keeps seeming longer and never- ending. You still keep walking and reach a point where you are frustrated and you want to turn back and you are unsure if the distance back is worth it or you should move on in the hope that you would see the light soon!

Sometime soon the decision is taken, ‘I’ll walk back’! At least I know that I started at a point where there is light!

Remember, that once you reach the tunnel the picture of your rainbow and the treasure pot starts fading and when you finally give up you don’t even remember that there ever was a rainbow!

This is the point, where I say, believe in the rainbow! When you start believing you will see that the light at the end of the tunnel is not the truth! You never entered a tunnel! The rainbow and the tunnel are your choices!

Iam not saying there is Utopia! Iam not saying there is ‘Ideal’!
Iam saying that it is in the priorities and respect!

The connotation is positive!! How is this ‘Simply Complicated’ truth seen and understood!?! It is relative!

A Strong Relationship is built on Trust
Trust is seen and understood from Behavior
Behavior is driven by Beliefs
Belief takes birth and grows from Values
Values are a reflection of your Conscience
Conscience is YOU!

YOU always drive the relationship! Trust enough!

Democracy…?!

2009-07-24T12:49:00.002+05:30

I can’t help but think of this and wonder why I feel so helpless!

A politician is accused of molestation and/or rape and he gets arrested. Then the drama unfolds, he has a cardiac problem and faints and his cronies and fellow politicians demand justice as our hospitals are not proper. Their explanation is that their leader could not take the tension of the arrest and he already suffers from sugar and what not!

Mayawati is spending over 1000 crores for her statue installation program. Our members of the parliament are discussing the cultural ill effects of a program called ‘Sach ka Samna’, which is a direct lift from the American program ‘Moment of truth’.

Our country is facing dire threats of violence, joblessness, hunger deaths, female feticide, population explosion, diseases, traffic problems, lawlessness, crime etc and here we have such self serving, weak, uneducated and egoistic leaders who we have voted to power.

If the stupid leader could not take the tension of arrest how in the freaking hell’s name would he be eligible to carry the pressures and tensions of serving millions of people?! Is this some kind of a joke? Do we need people like him?

The country and its people are suffering and our cunning and shameless leaders are busy installing statues? The people that have to be served are being ill treated and sometimes have to go through a long wait for Justice, which one will find if he/she is lucky. You got to be in .001% of the population to have that kind of luck.

The politics is getting dirtier and beyond reform! A civil war looks a possibility now as close to 75% of the Indian population is now young (below 40 years of age, I guess) and if they do not have jobs and their leaders use them to ‘Divide and Rule’, not even god can save us.

Before the uneducated and uncouth leaders talk about culture they should check themselves and ask their conscience, if they have one. Do they even know what culture means?

The old, haggard, ‘good for nothing’ politicians have power, property, black money, conservative views, criminal cases against them etc and they are leading a progressive country with a majority of young population into a future that our leaders will not even live to see! The world is forward looking and our leaders are still primitive in thoughts and actions! What an irony!!

Look at what is making headlines! What a cruel joke our democracy is!!

As for me Iam still the helpless citizen of the country and the world, who could only speak and not act. I feel like such a loser!!

Leadership?

2009-07-21T14:21:00.000+05:30

Leaders are born, not made! Was a famous adage! Now in our lives in the corporate world we say Leaders are created!

This is very interesting for me as I have always wondered what leadership meant. Here Iam not talking about the world leaders or business leaders, Iam only talking about the leaders who have led me, led us through our careers so far. (The organizations prefer calling them the leadership team, fancy title for motivation)

I have been a ‘so-called leadership trainer’ handling sessions on how to deal with conflicts, how to collaborate, Team productivity, Coaching, Competency building, Feedback Skills, Presentation Skills, Presence etc for ‘Leaders’! BUT… I still have my question on who a leader is and what leadership means!

I went through ‘Situational Leadership’, studied about leadership styles, communication styles etc and also tried reading about our ‘Great leaders’. Did it help? I don’t think so! So I reflected on my professional journey to see what I could make of the leaders I worked with. I have worked with the ‘Directive Leaders’ who I felt lacked the human orientation, I have worked with the ‘Friendly Leaders’ with who I was comfortable and then I have worked with the other type who I call the ‘Non-leaders’ who believed in the concept of ‘One size fits all’!

With the Non-Leaders I have seen typical practices of using position based power/authority, creating fear and believing in getting work done under pressure. Success meant to them the way they defined it and they went about preaching their ways or some bookish ways that may have worked for them. They believed that by sheer virtue of their ‘professional experience’ their sub-ordinates should do as they are told or face dire consequences. They spoke loosely and took to gossip. Their discussions had a lot of ‘I’ in it. They resorted to favoritism, subjectivity and other biases. They would always say ‘I have been here for the last XX years and I know what works and what doesn’t. ‘You better do it this way’. They always were busy in meetings or taking decisions. They would be high on self-orientation and their policy would be ‘My way or the highway’. They were known more for the damage they could do to your career than for the enhancement.

Honestly and Sadly 97.5% (Don’t ask why 97.5%...I just liked this number) of the leaders I worked with were in this category. Their knowledge and their actions didn’t match. Their actions were the exact opposite of the views they would discuss and learn in their learning sessions. The loudest voice in a meeting is considered to be that of the best leader! They have redefined the meaning of AGGRESSION!!

From them I learnt what not to be!

Iam still trying to figure out if it really is difficult to practice what we have learnt, to be empathetic! Why do some of the so-called corporate leaders believe that success is in a position and confuse that with leadership skills?

In my journey so far I have met some really genuine people who did not have the position and hence were not called leaders!

The more I learn, the more sessions I conduct, the more leaders and people I meet, I realize that the leadership theory is deduced from analyzing various behaviors and consequences. Various experiences have been observed, recorded and analyzed for the benefit of our learning. Emulating is not merely practicing the behaviors of successful leaders but it is an opportunity to find out what each of us is. Emulate the success!

I think a leader is one who can/will contribute and be there when needed! A leader could be one who could respect his/her emotions and also understand the emotions of the others. A leader, I think, realizes his/her importance in seeing the success they create in the world. I think leadership is these values in practice! I don’t subscribe to the view that Leaders are born or for that matter leaders are created! I believe that each of us is a leader and when we scratch the surface we will see that it is not so difficult to understand, as we are the leaders of our destiny!

Iam sure there is more to it?
I welcome all the leaders to assist me in cracking this one!! My quest is still on!

The Checklist!!

2009-07-06T13:07:00.000+05:30

Checklist for life/living! Here’s what I gathered from my various interactions, with various people and is inclusive of all the classes, ages etc etc etc… This is my understanding!

All of us need to review a checklist of activities and this captures a few of the most important ones in one’s life…in the present, past and future tenses! Iam kind of mid-way in life and hence the tenses are mixed up! :)

Have I got better marks all through my education?
Do I Look good?
Did I go to a well-known college?
Do/Did I have a girl/boy friend?
Am I having FUN?
Did I find a job in a big company?
Do I work for a big brand?
Do I go out to the ‘right places’?
Am I enjoying life?
Have I found the right life partner?
Do I have a ‘Happy Married Life’? (Someone once said, you could have a happy life or a married life…Hahahaha Hey Iam not endorsing this view ;))
Am I enjoying my life?
Did I get that promotion?
Do I have a child? (Or Children)
Do my kids speak good English, have good manners, and demonstrate intellectual and entertainment abilities? (More than one could ask of a ‘Mature’ and ‘Grown-up’ individual)
Do my kids go to an elite school?
Do I own a house and a ‘decent’ car?
Am I happy? Am I enjoying my life?
Have I made ‘influential’ friends and do I have status and do I get the respect?
Do I go on international vacation trips?
Have I planned for the next 5, 10, 15 years … to retirement? (This is what I call preparing for death and forgetting to live)
Do people consult me for advice?
Do I handle situations well?
Do people respect and appreciate me?
Do I have a big fat bank balance?
Have I saved enough?
Do I teach Lessons?
Is god with me?
Am I happy?
Did I enjoy life?

I always said to people who talk about planning and all other superficial comforts, using the convenience of a mysterious language called English, that they are preparing for death and forgetting to live! Why? Simply because LIFE is in the moment that we are alive not in the next 50 years when we retire!! I have been trying to follow a different checklist and believe me it is making life ‘Miserably Interesting and Exciting’

Am I literate or educated?
Am I good?
Do I work for money or for passion?
Am I working for a company or with a company?
Have I built a brand? What’s my brand?
Am I married for convenience or for love? Have I been the reason for happiness?
Have I demonstrated values for my children to learn and practice?
Do I have a HOME?
Do my people KNOW me?
Do I talk or act?
Have I done my good deed for the day, everyday?
Do I respect and appreciate people (all living things, actually)?
Did I conserve/preserve?
Do I create happiness?
Have I 'SEEN' the world?
Do I have a ‘VISION'?
Did I make a ‘difference’ to anyone in this world?
Do I matter to the ones who matter?
Do I understand and respect EMOTIONS and FEELINGS?
Do I create positive situations?
Have I had a positive impact/influence on the society?
Do I COMMUNICATE? Have I said the truth?
Have I gone beyond the superficial biases and prejudices?
Do I share experiences?
Do I believe in conscientious living?
Have I smiled enough?
Is life enjoyable?

I think we should ‘Take time and smell the roses’! In my opinion, while life is about intentions and actions, I (we) could do a little more by using in essence, the orientation and Interpretation!

We ARE what we SEE in others!!

2009-06-16T14:51:00.000+05:30

I have been a little amused by the readiness in every individual (me included) to talk about others. We live in a society and there is a need to share opinions and thoughts. But sometimes it gets on my nerves and I don’t think anyone is alien to this situation…rather sometimes we create such a situation and don’t take ownership…oops!! it’s getting too relative now…that’s the fun in ‘Living’ I guess!

"Look at that guy he looks so funny... That girl is dressed in such a skimpy outfit/revealing dress, she is inviting trouble! Gone are the days when we had a conservative culture!! We are getting too westernized!! He/She has ‘Jumped’ 7 jobs in 12 years, he/she is unstable, it is going to impact his/her career."

"Our government is good for nothing… This job sucks… Dhoni made such stupid decisions… we must stop going to Australia… Zoo-Zoo ads are too good… the boss is too aggressive and unreasonable… He/she has been trying to find a job for 6 months now but must realize that there has to be a compromise…why can’t these beggars who are physically well find some work?! This book talks a lot about its author… People who don’t know how to drive should not be driving…look how easily these guys break the rules…"

Complaints, Complaints and more complaints!

We perceive so clearly and we judge so easily! Looks like we have a solution for every problem and an opinion on anything… We are so Discerning, Discriminating, Civil and Knowledgeable! And What do we do about it?! We return to the superficial comforts of our homes and claim to be duty minded about family and Job!!

Ever wondered about this?!

How many of us have always ranked first in every class, every subject at school/college?
How many of us at job have been promoted every year with a 100% growth?
How many of us have excelled in sport and won 1st prize in any event all the time?
Have you ever written a book, a best seller? Do you know what it takes to be an author?
Are we literate or educated?
Can we provide a job/livelihood to the ‘Physically-well Beggars’ or all the beggars?
Are we successful in maintaining every relationship that we form?
Can we run our household on a budget without deviations?
Can you live happily?
Can you define success, good, bad, ugly, beauty, wisdom, right, wrong etc?
Do we trust all our friends and relatives?
Do you trust your society?
Are YOU Friendly, Trustworthy, Dependable and Honest?
Don’t you crave for status and fame?
Are you ready to be vulnerable in public?

When we are so (Hypo)critical, when we see clearly, do we understand that what we see is through our lens (Biases)? Do we realize that the negative we see in others is probably a reflection of what is inside us?

It takes one to know another! (I don't claim to be an Exception!!)

May be we ARE what we SEE in others!

Lawful or Awful!!?

2009-02-12T11:10:00.000+05:30

In Bihar:
A guy from a poor family elopes and marries a girl from a wealthy family. The result: members from the guy’s family (I guess the guy is included) are invited home by the in-laws with the pretext of compromise and 8 of them are killed, beheaded and the bodies thrown into the river.

In Mangalore:
People and women in particular are attacked and this is captured on TV. The next ting, we know, it is a national debate and a seemingly insignificant person, Muthalik and his small party, Ram Sena, has now gained popularity, whether right or wrong, we all know. The police are investigating while the criminals are roaming the roads doing more damage. Now there are more jobless, mindless youth/politicians from other states who want to embrace the SENA!!

In Uttar Pradesh:
Some engineer from the government services is beaten to death for not willing to give money for a very holy cause, the Chief Minister’s birthday bash. A 8 year old poor girl is tortured and beaten by the police in full view of the public because she is accused of having stolen rupees 280.

In Hyderabad:
A car driver honks and annoys the people in the car ahead. This happens for some time and then what follows is an ugly scene on the road with both parties fighting on the road, holding up traffic and it is all over the news. The (CM) Chief Minister’s brother is in one car and a (in) famous MLA’s son in the other. This makes news for a week. This was not so long ago.

The current CM and the former CM indulge in petty politics by talking about the (in) capabilities of their sons and their family in general. The other opposition parties take the cue and start talking about the incapability of both the parties. This makes front page news.

Of course, the Satyam scam is hogging all the lime light… by now you know more than the perpetrators do. Thanks to the media.

You must see the Police, Media, law-keepers etc in a frenzy to make their money by serving these very public servants. Whose money are they eating? Yours, Mine…ours. We pay the taxes.

In India:
A terrorist is captured and now he is the most protected man. What for… International diplomatic reasons… People are dying of hunger, poverty, crime etc, there is lack of education, funds being eaten away, no proper infrastructure or accountability and the news papers report crimes by the rich and (in) famous, the mighty and the powerful, all the time. And now there is a new spice item every day, woman/girl gang raped, the offenders are not noted criminals, this is their first time, screams the TV or Newspaper.

What is this nonsense? When was the last time we heard a newspaper or the TV report ‘Politician caught red handed and arrested for taking a bribe’, ‘Famous actor jailed for breaking traffic rules and creating chaos on the road’. Whatever happened to Salman Khan?

Why is it that we the citizens and honest tax payers (especially from the middle class) have to suffer all these atrocities and illegal acts? Why are the law keepers turning law makers? What is the POWER?

I would personally like to see the people from Ram Sene who attacked the girls in Mangalore be given punishment in public, probably should be castrated. The family that beheaded 8 people should have their limbs cut off so that they live their life like a vegetable. The politicians who talk petty be given some feedback in public, by the public.

All this for the sake of rebuilding faith and trust that the people have lost in the legal and administrative system of India and letting the people know what democracy means.

Let’s stop this INSANE behavior by multiple moral armies coming up in India…NOW. (IN SENA?) (Ram Sena, Shiv Sena etc) No wonder we were so easily captured and ruled by the British. Let’s not have a false pride in our ‘Unity in Diversity’. Let’s not fool ourselves every day and moment of our lives. Let’s face it…we no longer need octogenarian politicians (mis) lead us with their moral views for the public and personal immoral living. There is no way weapons/terrorists could come into our country illegally without the support of our law keepers. There is failure in every sense. Let’s change our ATTITUDE and help our politicians change theirs.

Power is the capacity to bring about change. Let’s really mean it when we say Jai Hind!!!

My New Year...lessons from a Child!

2009-01-06T15:18:00.000+05:30

I thought long and hard about this one. I really did!

My daughter has been quite an influence on me! She is 3years and 8months old and watching her grow has taught me a few lessons, not new lessons, these are the very same actions and feelings (or innocence) we grew up with. (This is not just what I see in my child, Iam writing about all the children) It saddens me to think that my child will grow up too and become ‘One of Us’, she too will soon forget her ‘Childhood’ and be consumed by pressure – from parents, teachers and peers, well, that’s the way life is! (You might say it too). I will be practical here and enjoy the present, ‘live in the moment’!

Iam now tempted to attempt to relive the childhood days based on the 5E’s that are constantly exhibited by my child (All children, actually)… Energy, Enthusiasm, Excitement, Expression and Experimentation…in no particular order!

My daughter exhibits boundless energy through the day, always experimenting (that’s how children learn, actually, all of us), expresses her feelings in a not-so-diplomatic or complicated way, excited about small successes (like completing her dinner on time or a glass of milk etc) and enthusiastic about being at home, a small trip in the car or just plain ‘going shopping’! There is a sense of adventure in every small experiment (like trying to use colors on the walls…which is a no-no) which eventually leads to ‘big learning’!

There is celebration for small successes; there is excitement/enthusiasm about a small gift (ranging from a pencil to a dairy milk chocolate) and innocence in expression. She is so persistent, so open, so playful, and so curious/inquisitive…so right in what she thinks or does (we actually put in the sense of judgment). She sleeps when she wants/needs to, eats when she wants/needs to, plays when she wants/needs to, basically she does what she wants to (till we tell her)!

Let’s isolate the thoughts of teaching her/them (the children) the ‘Rights and Wrongs’ (really, there is no definition, there is just acceptance) of life, I agree we need to guide them! Let’s look at the actions from a pure view point of what they actually mean. This view gives me clear insight into my day to day actions that are filled with ‘Expectations’, mine and the others’. Every action of mine is ruled by the intentions, actions, expectations and orientation of others. Then there is also social, professional and personal classifications of class, authority, power etc. Iam beginning to wonder if Iam living my life or it’s like in the movie ‘Matrix’, where everything is programmed and it is like an action sequence pulled over our eyes to view.

What does it take for me (us) to cry when we want to, laugh when we want to, play when we want to and basically live like we want to? I have no answers, maybe we are incorrigible or maybe that’s how nature willed us to grow. We have our own set of (pure) feelings with different definitions. We hurt the ones who matter the most (because of mindless expectations and misplaced priorities) and we treat everyone else (some insignificant and some significant) with respect and social etiquette. Why?

I leant the art of ‘why-why’ analysis from six-sigma tools about 8 years ago and more recently from my daughter!

This New Year I want to (I will attempt to) exhibit the 5Es and say FOFF (we use it every day) to anything that comes in the way of my dream and I… I have the license to dream, Iam a born dreamer, a Piscean!! (That’s probably the 1st thing all of us would say when we hear ‘Piscean’ … so conditioned!!)

Oxymoron...Life is!

2008-12-26T21:11:00.000+05:30

I have a great idea! A ‘Constant Variable’!

When was the last time we felt bad about our boss (much younger readers to substitute boss with Parents, Boy/girl friend, school/college teacher etc) reprimanding us or telling us something absurd (in our esteemed opinion)? Not very long ago, right?!

We have always been told that our employers are ‘Gods…Bhagwan!’ because they pay us. Many Hindi, Tamil, Telugu (regional) movies have taught us that we need to respect and hold our employer in high esteem. One dialogue that I cannot forget is ‘Jis thali se Khaathe ho, usme chedh nahin karna’…loosely translated to read ‘never make a hole in the plate which you use to eat’…philosophically refers to the employer who gives you money (feeds you your bread and butter)...Don't wound the KING!

So with that premise we started leading a life of ‘Professional ethics’, ever since we started working…makes me feel real good when I talk about ethics…my pet topic. All of us have it but many of us choose wisely when to and when not to display it BUT we are well within our limits of decency even when we are not displaying it. Well, well ‘tis SUBJECTIVE! (pardon me!)

Our work-life revolves around ‘Corporate Culture’, ‘Politically Correct communication’, ‘Brainstorming Meetings’, ‘Controlled Aggression’ and my favorite ‘working with targets or ‘KRA - Key Result Areas’ on which our entire growth depends. (Am I hearing somebody say ‘how stupid’?! I agree with you…the boss plays a major role in developing and reading your KRA at the end of the year…Subjective Objectives!!).

Our life, growth, happiness, marital bliss, neighbors pride/envy, the banks’ survival, the pet’s happiness, friends’ happiness (subjective again…as usual Iam Gender sensitive) etc...in short the entire F...... world!! depends so much on your KRA and achievement.

Sometimes the situation is ‘Pretty Ugly’ at office/life in general, sometimes it could be ‘Seriously Funny’, some ‘Minor Crisis’, some ‘Great Depression’, some ‘Clear Confusion’ some ‘Open Secrets’, some ‘unbiased opinions’ and some ‘Near Misses’. That’s about how our life is generally lived!! Some insecurity, some loyalty, some rebellion, some responsibility and most of all Accountability and Purpose!!

Now for the idea!

Our politician…the entire government lives because we pay tax; the administration is full of ‘Public Servants’, which now makes us the employer. The Government, the Police, the Military, the Water-works, the Municipality, the Electricity Board etc are all surviving on the money we pay in the form of TAX…even the TAX Department lives off our money.
How would it be if we could be a Vice President, Manager, Assistant Manager, General Manager and CXO to prepare, discuss and measure performance of our ‘Servants'' (Iam being politically correct…Iam the PUBLIC) KRA on a monthly basis? How would it be to ‘Corporatize’ the Government functioning for us?! We live that way based on ‘Professional Ethics’ and some amount of insecurity to earn our daily bread and why should we let our employees (read servants) get away with murder and consistency in doing a bad job. They should be rated on the same scale ‘Outstanding achiever, Achiever, Meets Targets, Underperformer and FIRED’. We should strive for Perfection and tolerate only excellence! That about defines democracy for me!

Now, is this ‘Political Accountability’ a ‘Real Fantasy’ or a ‘True Dream’?! Is it like ‘Military Intelligence?!

Is it just an ‘Oxymoron’ that could be used for HUMOR?!

What ‘Sweet Sorrow’!! Let’s ‘Act Naturally’!! What would it take for us to achieve this desired setting?

This brings me to a ‘Rolling Stop’! I got to prepare for my quarterly appraisals and work on my KRA! Iam Accountable!!

Cheers!
Pavan

DND - Do Not Disturb!

2008-12-24T20:10:00.000+05:30

It was about 11am this morning and I was sitting in a chair at an elite corporate hospital waiting my turn to see the doctor. I was surrounded by all kinds of people...sorry, patients! Some old, some young, some really young. Some had broken bones (me included), some were waiting for a 'Radiation' treatment, some for the neurologist and some for the urologist. Some were on wheel chairs and some on stretchers. I can only describe what I saw, the scene, the mad buzz, the loud wails of a child or some one waiting to be treated BUT I cannot describe the anxiety, anguish or pain one would have gone through. Surprisingly from a practical view it looked like, it's 'Business As Usual'. For the nurses, the ward boys, the doctors and the administrative staff it was just another day at work.

In the midst of such morose (in my opinion) settings, such pain and the added pain of waiting for the doctor, I was wondering about all the suffering and sorrow such small kids, such old people...age no bar...experience!! I suddenly realise (No, I didn't have a halo around my head) that Pain, Hunger, Thirst, Sorrow, Grief, Happiness that all of us experience do not have any bias. These are just like the sunlight/moonlight or the starlit sky or the Earth we walk which do not differentiate between the poor or rich, old or young, black or white (Iam tempted to mention the castes too...but I only know better) etc. It's simple, the SUN shines equally on everyone!! So what's my point now?? Wait, we have just reached the best part!

I must have spent about 2minutes in this scenario, with myriad thoughts, (I actually wrote about it in 2 paragraphs??!! Phew!) when my mobile phone rings. I pick up the call in 1 ring so as not to disturb my fellow-patients and the voice on the other side says 'Hello? (it was not a greeting, so the question mark) May I speak with Mr. Pavan Kumar?' and I said yes. The voice (a female) said, 'Good Morning sir! Iam calling from a real estate company. Could I explain our scheme to buy some open plots?'. I responded in the negative and didn't wait a second before I hung up (I was pleasant, I generally am). As soon as I hung up, my thoughts shifted to the phone calls all of us (atleast most of us) receive on a daily basis... selling insurance, investment plans, credit cards, offering loans, plots, what not!! Some of us are rude and some of us are pleasant in dealing with the callers.

I visualized the scene when many of my friends who have been hounded (they claim so) by these calls have asked many questions in anger...what kinda calls are these guys making? Don't they know when to call? Can't they understand Iam busy? They don't even know how to talk? How could they disturb me at any time they wish to? so on and so forth.

How much do we make of this innocuous call?! What a big fuss!

I sat quietly awaiting my turn with the doctor thinking about, how different are the people who are calling us? What parallels could I draw between what I see at the hospital at that moment and the calls that I receive everyday? This is not for the first time that I got into this mode of thinking, I clearly remember the occasions when I have told my friends who have taken offence to such callers (not calls) 'Boss what do you get by being rude with them. In the 30 seconds had you actually told them, thanks for your call, but Iam not interested in the offer', this could actually mean that we don't carry the bad taste forward (rather it leaves a good taste), we get on with our work and most importantly we help the caller get on with his/her work...which is, the next call!

In reality, they are actually doing their work, just like you and me, just like the hospital staff! It takes just one moment to realise the simple truth that 'Do Not Disturb' does not hold good only for us...it is common to all! I also want to share the experiences/learning I have had while training such tele-callers (I must have trained about 3000 tele-callers in my career) when I was working with the Banking and Telecom sectors. This probably would address some of the questions we ask (mentioned in the previous paragraphs).

Yes the telecallers are not greatly educated and don't have great language skills. They don't know who they are calling and they do not know that they are disturbing (how are they to know what you are doing at that time?). They just do what is being asked of them professionally and they are willing to learn. Think about it, if they were great and had good skills they would rather be sitting in your seat than calling you for some tele-sales. They actually need the money (a paltry sum) they earn, they have a family to support (most of them) and their confidence levels are not too great (they are not unlike you and me), yet they are professionals. What would it take for us to understand that we are being judgmental?! We call ourselves busy and we know the reality :)!!

Do Not Disturb!!

It's not just for you and me! Nobody likes to be disturbed in LIVING their LIFE!

Finally I did get to meet the doctor after 30minutes of waiting!!

Say Cheers mate!! Cheers to life!

Conventional Inconsistencies!!!

2008-12-22T22:23:00.000+05:30

Antulay, Antulay, Antulay,

Karkare, Karkare, Karkare,

Thackeray, Thackeray, Thackeray,

Hindu, Hindu, Hindu,

Muslim, Muslim, Muslim,

Cricket, Cricket, Cricket

Crime, Crime, Crime

Recession, Recession, Recession

SRK, SRK, SRK,

Aamir, Aamir, Aamir,

Katrina, Katrina, Katrina,

Britney, Britney, Britney

Pakistan, Pakistan, Pakistan

BJP, BJP,

Congress, Congress

News, News, News,

Globalization, Globalization, Globalization,

Politics, Politics, Politics,

Society, Society, Society!!!

etc, etc, etc!!!

This is what we eat for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. This what we eat, sleep, drink and get a kick out of. Talk to the common man, i.e. US and you will not hear more than this in current affairs. A little more that you will hear is, my company is doing real bad, what a stupid boss I have, these guys running the government don't know a thing, a few expert comments about the recession and what should be done, something about sex scandals/women/men, some great sexual exploits, DOSTANA, a little about food, more about traffic, civic sense, how the entire system is failing!! and ofcourse some office gossip! Some wise people talk about managing marriage, bosses, girlfriends/boyfriends, Children, Career, human rights etc with the best of intentions.

I can't stop myself from making a special mention about the traffic in India... the vehicle that is breaking the rule is the one affiliated to the government! A simple rule to remember, the bigger the vehicle, the fancier the registration number the more the right to break rules and kick the asses of people who question them. They can come in the other direction, honk in peak/bumper-to-bumper traffic, overtake you from left/right or center (how's that possible you ask? Simple, they honk you to the left of the road and keep going straight) and zoom at break neck speed! Well, I had my say!!

After a tiresome day of managing your work, others' work and spending your wisdom, experience and intelligence on running the system, it is time to sleep. And then it is time to get up, look at that toothbrush, which you had always wanted to change a few days ago, brush, then shit, shave, s..., shower (as applicable, now I can't be blamed of being gender insensitive) and get dressed (now, now, there ain't no order to that, some of them manage a little multitasking in the morning). Getting dressed is quite a chore, looking for clothes that are ironed, socks, polish etc (aw come on not everyone is as organised). Then what? The process repeats itself!!

For all of us, what is that one thing that binds us? It is Sensationalism, an inexplicable affinity to controversy and the ever increasing awareness of all the wrong things around us that are waiting for our opinion through SMS or phone calls! WOW! This is quite a life to live!

Now, I have written something that I can't escape too! But there are questions to be asked,

How many of us know where our taxes are going?

How many of us have complained to the authorities about the pot holes on the road that we crib about everyday?

How many of us have caught people doing the right thing?

What measures are we taking to control the pathetic traffic condition/civic conditons?

Do we know who is accountable?

Are we ready to know the truth?

It's US, we are not independent of the system that we are blaming. What are we going to tell our children, our next generation about POLICE, LAW, RULES OF THE SOCIETY etc. Not all of us are related, even remotely, to the people in the GOVERNMENT, to be SAFE in this new WORLD and get away with murder!!

Honesty, Integrity, Sensitivity, Thoughtfulness, Compassion, Empathy, Respect etc seem to be just words. Iam writing (Blogging) for the first time to ask if we are using the greatest available resource to all of us, TIME, to create a better place.

We all have the best intentions, BUT, intentions without ACTIONS are of no use!!

Sensitivity Vs Sensationalism, Politics Vs Accountability, Compromise Vs Getting the rightful due and most of all creating a system that ensures Unity in Diversity! Quantity Vs Quality!

We are in the grip of 'Conventional Inconsistencies'. WE know it is an inconsisteny but it is so conventional and accepted that we just have to do it, for some it is second nature now!

Iam not done yet...So, what next over a cup of Irani Chai?!! Iam game!!