Innocent infanthood to rebellious teenage, life is really somewhat bridled, because that’s what is absolutely necessary, in my opinion. What after that? That’s when I think the real life begins. There is a particular way in which I thought I should live, am I living it that way? Not sure.
I was thinking about how I should lead my life, keeping values, ethics and principles in place and encompassing all the experiences one is likely to have during their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s etc… then the ‘Mantra’ for life, as I call it, happened. This is exciting … provided I live to be a hundred! Bleak chances!
Plenty at Twenty (20’s)
Dirty at Thirty (30’s)
Naughty at Forty (40’s)
Thrifty at Fifty (50’s)
Healthy at Sixty (60’s)
Plenty at Seventy (70’s)
Naughty at Eighty (80’s)
Nice at Ninety (90’s)
Happy (and Dead) when Hundred
In my opinion: Each word in the 'mantra' has a positive connotation and adds to the excitement of living. It has far more meaning than just the superficial definition. The context takes over and is deep.
Iam now in the ‘Dirty’ phase! Just to throw a little light, this is when Politics (at office and in general), Ego hassles, Drive (well, in every sense ;)) etc rule the context of living through to 40. Dirty ain’t it? It is almost like life is throwing a challenge ‘Wanna play dirty?’ Hehehe!! And hey what can be done in the 30’s can’t be done later. At every phase in our life there are a few things one can do and a few one can’t.
I went through the ‘Plenty’ phase and really wish I lived that phase forever. Fun, Excitement, Friends, Adventure, Experiments etc… All in ‘Plenty’! It just seems like yesterday! Well that’s what phases are, I guess!
Can’t write about the next phase for a long time, but hey! What the heck?! I’ll live it when I get there.
Time and tide wait for no man! Enjoy living!
Life is Fun, make it happen!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
The Classic Syndrome:
In a day (for most of us now): 10 hours at work, 2 to 4 hours of travel to and from work, 2 hours for freshening up, breakfast and dinner, 1 to 2 hours of preparing for the next day at work, 6 hours of sleep…this is almost how a weekday looks like for professionals today. There could be additions to the hours at work, travel time and preparation time for work.
Ultimately the body and mind do not get the rest/relaxation required. Well, the weekends are for completing chores and planning for the next week and whatever free time is available is spent on the phone or in a meeting with people/friends/acquaintances to share the depression. ‘Misery seeks company’!
What’s the result?
High stress levels leading to disturbed health and relationships,
Over expectations from people (not communicated, just expected) leading to isolation, irritability, mistrust, blame and irrational behavior
Troubled personal life…Professional life sucks!!
So what do we do about it? Complain and blame!! That’s all!
In my opinion, the final deduction is what I call the classic syndrome of this era, ‘I don’t like what I have and I don’t know what I want’!
Why I say this, as mentioned in a few of my other posts, is because the life we are leading is not worth it now, (change is in your hands)for simple reasons that we work hard, earn well, spend foolishly, lose health, save for death, invest in funds and not in relationships, become mechanical in approach etc… A day is nothing but a calendar or a schedule. All our lives we live for someone else, rather the most insignificant someone else! Think of it! What do we compromise on? Where do we vent? What do we nurture?
We work for our bosses and not for our passion/happiness. We work for money alone and not for fulfillment too. We earn not to make ends meet but to create more debt. We invest (money, time and energy) to prepare for our death and not in the relationships. We are living for someone else and by others’ standards, not ours.
C’mon, honestly, think of it. Ok! if there is any disagreement, here is a test. Think of the answers to the questions below, be honest.
1.Do you have new cutlery and crockery sets at home? If yes, do you use it? Most likely not, because this is for the guests/important people … god only knows when they will arrive.
2.Again, at home, do you have a set of hand towels/face towels and bed sheets and pillow covers that are costly and new for a long time now? Do you use them? Most likely not, again it is for someone else.
3.Do you clean your wardrobe and tables and show cases every day? Do you dust and vacuum your carpet or sofa sets every day? Do you clean your bathrooms and place air fresheners and new soaps and soap boxes frequently? No! Stop kidding me by saying yes. This again is only when VIPs are to arrive home.
4.Do you have a towel that is almost thread bare and still in use by you? The answer is most likely to be yes.(Check with your folks at home, there are new ones in the cupboard)
5.Do you eat your noodles with a fork that has bent or missing tines? Do you still use an old glass which can barely stand and has dents, to drink water? Do you still eat in an old plate that has dents and moves as you eat? Yes!! The costly crockery is not for you buddy!
6.Do you have perfumes for special occasions and costumes that are stacked in your cupboard? Yes!! You don’t want to use many of them; in fact you would be surprised to see when you check that you still have some of them in your cupboard. Oh did I really buy this?
I can go on about this and more, including gifts that you may have received, gold, silver etc…but think of it! This is the reality! Anyway, you pass the test…
Why? Oh why do we do this? Why is it ok to have the good ones stacked away for someone else while you adjust? Why is good life only when someone else comes home?
You earn the money but you do not enjoy what you deserve to. What are the priorities? What is ok for you should be ok for the guests too. So if you eat with a bad fork give it to the guest too.
The first step to get out of this dangerous syndrome is to go home pick up the good ones (all of it) from the cupboard and use them every day. Do it right away!! You earned it and you deserve it. Tell your folks at home this, they deserve it too. You live well and then help others. Invest in today as much as you are investing for the unsure tomorrow.
This weekend, do your bit. Create some space in your wardrobes and cupboards (and your hearts too). There are underprivileged people who would need the ones you use now, give it to them. They really need it. That would be a great start to ... reclamation!
Invest time and energy in relationships. Earn well and spend well. YOU are important to your friends and family as they are to you! If you don’t like what you have please know what you want and pleeez! for heaven’s sake COMMUNICATE effectively and have what you want.
What is inside is for you to use and what is outside is for you to give. (I mean at home ;))
Live YOUR life! Yours!
Ultimately the body and mind do not get the rest/relaxation required. Well, the weekends are for completing chores and planning for the next week and whatever free time is available is spent on the phone or in a meeting with people/friends/acquaintances to share the depression. ‘Misery seeks company’!
What’s the result?
High stress levels leading to disturbed health and relationships,
Over expectations from people (not communicated, just expected) leading to isolation, irritability, mistrust, blame and irrational behavior
Troubled personal life…Professional life sucks!!
So what do we do about it? Complain and blame!! That’s all!
In my opinion, the final deduction is what I call the classic syndrome of this era, ‘I don’t like what I have and I don’t know what I want’!
Why I say this, as mentioned in a few of my other posts, is because the life we are leading is not worth it now, (change is in your hands)for simple reasons that we work hard, earn well, spend foolishly, lose health, save for death, invest in funds and not in relationships, become mechanical in approach etc… A day is nothing but a calendar or a schedule. All our lives we live for someone else, rather the most insignificant someone else! Think of it! What do we compromise on? Where do we vent? What do we nurture?
We work for our bosses and not for our passion/happiness. We work for money alone and not for fulfillment too. We earn not to make ends meet but to create more debt. We invest (money, time and energy) to prepare for our death and not in the relationships. We are living for someone else and by others’ standards, not ours.
C’mon, honestly, think of it. Ok! if there is any disagreement, here is a test. Think of the answers to the questions below, be honest.
1.Do you have new cutlery and crockery sets at home? If yes, do you use it? Most likely not, because this is for the guests/important people … god only knows when they will arrive.
2.Again, at home, do you have a set of hand towels/face towels and bed sheets and pillow covers that are costly and new for a long time now? Do you use them? Most likely not, again it is for someone else.
3.Do you clean your wardrobe and tables and show cases every day? Do you dust and vacuum your carpet or sofa sets every day? Do you clean your bathrooms and place air fresheners and new soaps and soap boxes frequently? No! Stop kidding me by saying yes. This again is only when VIPs are to arrive home.
4.Do you have a towel that is almost thread bare and still in use by you? The answer is most likely to be yes.(Check with your folks at home, there are new ones in the cupboard)
5.Do you eat your noodles with a fork that has bent or missing tines? Do you still use an old glass which can barely stand and has dents, to drink water? Do you still eat in an old plate that has dents and moves as you eat? Yes!! The costly crockery is not for you buddy!
6.Do you have perfumes for special occasions and costumes that are stacked in your cupboard? Yes!! You don’t want to use many of them; in fact you would be surprised to see when you check that you still have some of them in your cupboard. Oh did I really buy this?
I can go on about this and more, including gifts that you may have received, gold, silver etc…but think of it! This is the reality! Anyway, you pass the test…
Why? Oh why do we do this? Why is it ok to have the good ones stacked away for someone else while you adjust? Why is good life only when someone else comes home?
You earn the money but you do not enjoy what you deserve to. What are the priorities? What is ok for you should be ok for the guests too. So if you eat with a bad fork give it to the guest too.
The first step to get out of this dangerous syndrome is to go home pick up the good ones (all of it) from the cupboard and use them every day. Do it right away!! You earned it and you deserve it. Tell your folks at home this, they deserve it too. You live well and then help others. Invest in today as much as you are investing for the unsure tomorrow.
This weekend, do your bit. Create some space in your wardrobes and cupboards (and your hearts too). There are underprivileged people who would need the ones you use now, give it to them. They really need it. That would be a great start to ... reclamation!
Invest time and energy in relationships. Earn well and spend well. YOU are important to your friends and family as they are to you! If you don’t like what you have please know what you want and pleeez! for heaven’s sake COMMUNICATE effectively and have what you want.
What is inside is for you to use and what is outside is for you to give. (I mean at home ;))
Live YOUR life! Yours!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Vuvuzela
The Football world cup is over!! Paul the Octopus has won many hearts!! The Spaniards have emerged champions! The vuvuzelas have created quite a din! And the noise lives on!!
Some celebrities, experts and common people expressed their views about Vuvuzelas. Some said it created a very annoying noise, some said it was fun and some said that it was noise pollution. Vuvuzela, also known as Lepatata, is to football just like how our DJs' famous horn sound is to the IPL Cricket matches.
In my opinion this adds to the energy and excitement on the ground and is over in 90 or 180 minutes. It is good to have this. Somehow, our news carriers have exploited this too and created famous news around this using the comments from different celebrities and people. Now the Vuvuzela is famous and so it should be.
My concern is about the unwelcome 'Vuvuzelas' that are locally available and played at odd times and near your house or on the road, blocking traffic. Iam referring to the 'Marriage bands', the other bands used during festivals, death ceremonies and the music played on loud speakers. Why doesn't anyone speak of this? This is more harmful and we actually have a law in India that bans this from 10pm to 6am and also has set a certain decibel limit.
Where is the press? Where is the media? Where is the police?
In fact most of the bands have police escorts while they break the rules and law.
This is not right, you know it, I know it and we all know it! So what?! So nothing. Why I say this is because, a few months ago I had a procession start near my house at 1am in the morning and the band played loud enough for my heart to pound really hard. I called our police control room, number 100, and there was no response, I called just dial services and took the number to the police station in my area and called. What happened? yes, you guessed it right...the number was engaged...I tried for 30minutes. Then I called the control room again and this time a miracle happened, the phone was answered and the gentleman on the line took my complaint and said that it was booked under noise pollution and that police will come there and take care of it. For the next 45minutes I went through this extreme noise with no relief. Don't know if the police arrived, anyway, it did not help.
So just when you think this is where it ended, the procession came back after 2 hours and played loud enough for the entire area to wake up and for heart patients to have seizure. Iam amused how this was done exactly during the ban hours. Also, it does not take a phone call for the police to reach, the band was loud enough even to disturb the policeman's sleep!! Hahaha!
Someone is getting married and a procession is on the road, blocking traffic for hours. Is this the idea of celebration? The groom gets cursed many a time even before he gets married. What stupidity is this? I travel 2 hours from work to home and get caught in these kinda things. Festival time, 6am, the music on the loud speaker at the street corner starts and worse still is that not many of the songs are religious and it would need god to do the famous 'Teen mar'/street dance to this music. We are living in hell and tolerating such nonsense only because we have nowhere to go.
Numerous incidents, day after day, common people put to pain, no place for the ambulance to rush, no place for the people to walk, can't rest at home, can't reach home etc etc. We live with this but make a noise about Vuvuzela that we heard on TV with volume control?! I think we need to blow the Vuvzelas till the law keepers take action. Anyway this is like a game and we might as well cheer our law makers and law keepers!! Paul the octopus what is your prediction?? Even with 8 arms I don't think you can choose the right option...there are just too many!! :)
Some celebrities, experts and common people expressed their views about Vuvuzelas. Some said it created a very annoying noise, some said it was fun and some said that it was noise pollution. Vuvuzela, also known as Lepatata, is to football just like how our DJs' famous horn sound is to the IPL Cricket matches.
In my opinion this adds to the energy and excitement on the ground and is over in 90 or 180 minutes. It is good to have this. Somehow, our news carriers have exploited this too and created famous news around this using the comments from different celebrities and people. Now the Vuvuzela is famous and so it should be.
My concern is about the unwelcome 'Vuvuzelas' that are locally available and played at odd times and near your house or on the road, blocking traffic. Iam referring to the 'Marriage bands', the other bands used during festivals, death ceremonies and the music played on loud speakers. Why doesn't anyone speak of this? This is more harmful and we actually have a law in India that bans this from 10pm to 6am and also has set a certain decibel limit.
Where is the press? Where is the media? Where is the police?
In fact most of the bands have police escorts while they break the rules and law.
This is not right, you know it, I know it and we all know it! So what?! So nothing. Why I say this is because, a few months ago I had a procession start near my house at 1am in the morning and the band played loud enough for my heart to pound really hard. I called our police control room, number 100, and there was no response, I called just dial services and took the number to the police station in my area and called. What happened? yes, you guessed it right...the number was engaged...I tried for 30minutes. Then I called the control room again and this time a miracle happened, the phone was answered and the gentleman on the line took my complaint and said that it was booked under noise pollution and that police will come there and take care of it. For the next 45minutes I went through this extreme noise with no relief. Don't know if the police arrived, anyway, it did not help.
So just when you think this is where it ended, the procession came back after 2 hours and played loud enough for the entire area to wake up and for heart patients to have seizure. Iam amused how this was done exactly during the ban hours. Also, it does not take a phone call for the police to reach, the band was loud enough even to disturb the policeman's sleep!! Hahaha!
Someone is getting married and a procession is on the road, blocking traffic for hours. Is this the idea of celebration? The groom gets cursed many a time even before he gets married. What stupidity is this? I travel 2 hours from work to home and get caught in these kinda things. Festival time, 6am, the music on the loud speaker at the street corner starts and worse still is that not many of the songs are religious and it would need god to do the famous 'Teen mar'/street dance to this music. We are living in hell and tolerating such nonsense only because we have nowhere to go.
Numerous incidents, day after day, common people put to pain, no place for the ambulance to rush, no place for the people to walk, can't rest at home, can't reach home etc etc. We live with this but make a noise about Vuvuzela that we heard on TV with volume control?! I think we need to blow the Vuvzelas till the law keepers take action. Anyway this is like a game and we might as well cheer our law makers and law keepers!! Paul the octopus what is your prediction?? Even with 8 arms I don't think you can choose the right option...there are just too many!! :)
Friday, April 23, 2010
Drive and derive!
Want to be a good manager in the corporate world? Sorry, want to move from Good to Great as a manager? Much better question eh? I like that :)
If the answer to one or both of the questions is yes, then you must move on and read. Even if the answer is no, move on and read as this gives you valuable insights that the MBA classes don’t. Just for the heck of it…go on…
Now, I see most of us are ambitious and so the answer would be yes. So let’s begin.
To be a successful manager, good or Good to great, you must learn some lessons in management (self, work, people etc). Iam not a big fan of MBA theory so I’ll use practical examples and you need to drive a car or atleast do some back seat driving to derive the invaluable lessons. The session is called Drive and Derive (lessons)
Lesson 1:
Break all the rules… don’t get caught!
This is easy because just like the work environment our traffic system has rules and regulations but the majority does not follow them. While driving in peak traffic it is never easy to maintain rules because that way you’ll get delayed in reaching the destination. All others are not following rules so how can you? That is the most important lesson, when in Rome do as Romans do. We are running a rat race. Drive more and become an expert at breaking rules and getting ahead, it doesn’t matter if some people get delayed or hurt, that’s the way life is! The key is not to get caught or atleast if caught having the presence of mind to blame someone else and confuse the entire situation. This is a lesson in building personality, building managerial qualities, effective use of resources, maximizing opportunity etc
Lesson 2:
Know your opponent
This is a little tough! You got to know the power the opponent wields to harm you. Once you gauge that, you plan actions and reactions. So when you drive around and face a stressful situation with another guy on the road (read colleague at office) first check his number plate, if it is a fancy number, play it cool and resolve. If the number plate is regular look at the build of the person, if he is small just take the lead and thrash the shit out of that person. Likewise in the corporate world, look at the ID card and build of the person and take action. Some opponents are insignificant and you can thrash them even if it is your mistake, like the motorcyclists, cyclists, pedestrians etc. Trust you got the lesson. This lesson is in interpersonal skills, understanding corporate fundamentals, assertiveness, achieving success etc
Lesson 3:
Know the key people, Make the right friends
This is easy. When you ram your car into a truck or a bus the damage caused to your car is more, so watch out and be careful when you encounter these heavy vehicles. This in the corporate world is very simple; don’t take on those you cannot put down completely. The damage would be more for you. Befriend them so that you could use them to ram someone (a smaller vehicle). This is a lesson in networking and also in sales (selling your own profile)
Lesson 4:
Know who the favorites are
It does not take the brain of Einstein to figure this out. This one is for the guys: In a stressful encounter on the road if your opponent is a lady, you are never gonna make it buddy! (Sorry about that, it is in good humor. Iam not gender biased and I treat women and men as equals) Irrespective of whose mistake it is, the lady is going to get all the support. So save yourself some stress, take it easy and get going. Avoid any hint of confrontation. For the ladies this lesson is very easy to understand. In the corporate world, there are obvious favorites for the key people, do not confront them or befriend them, both ways it will cause you stress. This lesson is in developing interpersonal skills.
Lesson 5:
Make Noise!
Evidently the easiest lesson! Whether or not people like it, whether or not there is a traffic jam, for no damn reason just blow the horn! Draw attention and then make up a reason for making noise. You will see that mostly the people give way and you get ahead, they may be annoyed though. But do you care? Nah! In the corporate world it is not only enough to be skilled; you got to keep making a noise. Well all of us are by now used to blowing the horn out of habit more than necessity irrespective of the type/brand of car one drives. This lesson is for influencing skills, marketing/promotion of self!
One could be an MBA from IIM/harvard etc, one could be a gold medalist in academics but that don't matter much. You could have donkeys years of experience, you could have great values etc but that don't matter as much either.
These are the 5 important lessons that will help any professional move from good to great. There are many more lessons on Innovation, Professionalism, Performance Management etc…but I think once you start driving you will start deriving these lessons too. We are a smart lot!
Remember, the corporate world and the traffic is very similar.
Lot of vehicles/people, different types/brands, big or small, limited rules/regulations that can be exploited, same destination/goals for many, unpredictability, luck/chances/fortune play a vital role, at times your skills do not matter. So the more you drive (work) the more you derive!
Hey I forgot, you become far more successful if you practice back seat driving where your job is to increase the stress for the driver, blame the driver in case of any problem and at all other times feign ignorance of what is happening around you to give the feeling that the driver is in control. This is what you need to practice if you must reach the top of the corporate ladder. Start with friends if you cannot afford a driver ;)
Good to Great!! God save....oops! Help us!!
If the answer to one or both of the questions is yes, then you must move on and read. Even if the answer is no, move on and read as this gives you valuable insights that the MBA classes don’t. Just for the heck of it…go on…
Now, I see most of us are ambitious and so the answer would be yes. So let’s begin.
To be a successful manager, good or Good to great, you must learn some lessons in management (self, work, people etc). Iam not a big fan of MBA theory so I’ll use practical examples and you need to drive a car or atleast do some back seat driving to derive the invaluable lessons. The session is called Drive and Derive (lessons)
Lesson 1:
Break all the rules… don’t get caught!
This is easy because just like the work environment our traffic system has rules and regulations but the majority does not follow them. While driving in peak traffic it is never easy to maintain rules because that way you’ll get delayed in reaching the destination. All others are not following rules so how can you? That is the most important lesson, when in Rome do as Romans do. We are running a rat race. Drive more and become an expert at breaking rules and getting ahead, it doesn’t matter if some people get delayed or hurt, that’s the way life is! The key is not to get caught or atleast if caught having the presence of mind to blame someone else and confuse the entire situation. This is a lesson in building personality, building managerial qualities, effective use of resources, maximizing opportunity etc
Lesson 2:
Know your opponent
This is a little tough! You got to know the power the opponent wields to harm you. Once you gauge that, you plan actions and reactions. So when you drive around and face a stressful situation with another guy on the road (read colleague at office) first check his number plate, if it is a fancy number, play it cool and resolve. If the number plate is regular look at the build of the person, if he is small just take the lead and thrash the shit out of that person. Likewise in the corporate world, look at the ID card and build of the person and take action. Some opponents are insignificant and you can thrash them even if it is your mistake, like the motorcyclists, cyclists, pedestrians etc. Trust you got the lesson. This lesson is in interpersonal skills, understanding corporate fundamentals, assertiveness, achieving success etc
Lesson 3:
Know the key people, Make the right friends
This is easy. When you ram your car into a truck or a bus the damage caused to your car is more, so watch out and be careful when you encounter these heavy vehicles. This in the corporate world is very simple; don’t take on those you cannot put down completely. The damage would be more for you. Befriend them so that you could use them to ram someone (a smaller vehicle). This is a lesson in networking and also in sales (selling your own profile)
Lesson 4:
Know who the favorites are
It does not take the brain of Einstein to figure this out. This one is for the guys: In a stressful encounter on the road if your opponent is a lady, you are never gonna make it buddy! (Sorry about that, it is in good humor. Iam not gender biased and I treat women and men as equals) Irrespective of whose mistake it is, the lady is going to get all the support. So save yourself some stress, take it easy and get going. Avoid any hint of confrontation. For the ladies this lesson is very easy to understand. In the corporate world, there are obvious favorites for the key people, do not confront them or befriend them, both ways it will cause you stress. This lesson is in developing interpersonal skills.
Lesson 5:
Make Noise!
Evidently the easiest lesson! Whether or not people like it, whether or not there is a traffic jam, for no damn reason just blow the horn! Draw attention and then make up a reason for making noise. You will see that mostly the people give way and you get ahead, they may be annoyed though. But do you care? Nah! In the corporate world it is not only enough to be skilled; you got to keep making a noise. Well all of us are by now used to blowing the horn out of habit more than necessity irrespective of the type/brand of car one drives. This lesson is for influencing skills, marketing/promotion of self!
One could be an MBA from IIM/harvard etc, one could be a gold medalist in academics but that don't matter much. You could have donkeys years of experience, you could have great values etc but that don't matter as much either.
These are the 5 important lessons that will help any professional move from good to great. There are many more lessons on Innovation, Professionalism, Performance Management etc…but I think once you start driving you will start deriving these lessons too. We are a smart lot!
Remember, the corporate world and the traffic is very similar.
Lot of vehicles/people, different types/brands, big or small, limited rules/regulations that can be exploited, same destination/goals for many, unpredictability, luck/chances/fortune play a vital role, at times your skills do not matter. So the more you drive (work) the more you derive!
Hey I forgot, you become far more successful if you practice back seat driving where your job is to increase the stress for the driver, blame the driver in case of any problem and at all other times feign ignorance of what is happening around you to give the feeling that the driver is in control. This is what you need to practice if you must reach the top of the corporate ladder. Start with friends if you cannot afford a driver ;)
Good to Great!! God save....oops! Help us!!
Passion or Caution?!
Passion: Any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling!
It is a word that many of us use very frequently, a word we identify with almost every day of our lives, actually every moment. Live life with passion, work with passion etc are sentences we often hear. It is motivating to hear this and inspiring to see some people demonstrate ‘Passion’!
However we do not have a clear definition to this passion, as in every word, it is strongly subjective. A person working with passion is often judged by the result that the work produces. Most of the time it is the very result/reputation that determines the intensity of passion that the person displays… It is the visual of successful (or not) people that tells us something about passion. We take sides; some take inspiration from winners and some from underdogs.
In reality, it is the individual that knows about his/her passion and the biggest threat to that is the attempts to make the world around understand that he/she is passionate. It is here that the actual game starts, the game of life. We set out to prove to the boss, the peer, the friend, the spouse, the child, every acquaintance etc that ‘I Have Passion’. Sit up and take notice!
Now, I have to move on to the topic that is very close to me (us); corporate work culture. I believe Iam passionate and I believe that so is everyone else. But strangely that is not going to get me anywhere (so say a few wise souls).
The expected passion at work is,
1. Working long hours
2. Making the boss look good
3. Being available 24/7
4. Doing what the boss says, the boss is always right - a sure-shot way to grow ;)
I have always had a different opinion and Iam always strongly defending it. I had a discussion about this with one of my colleagues recently and I was trying to understand this particular ‘Corporate Work Management’. My point has always been, if Iam doing all that has been mentioned above, am I demonstrating any passion? If so, what passion do I have for my personal life?
I realized that in today’s world it is not ‘Passion’ it is ‘Caution’.
Don’t do this as the boss may not like it. Here, it is the only way to work. We are culturally very different. Don’t say this, don’t do this, don’t question, try to be sober, try to be in the boss’s good books, be careful of this person, he/she is well connected, don’t this and don’t that. Don’t, don’t and don’t. What a passionate life to lead?!! Wow, Iam thrilled!!
We are exercising only caution now and there is no time for passion. Even if there is it has to be passion with caution, what a joke!!
Scheming, planning and managing for that promotion. Sadly this is leading us to the non-existent world, which we all know is unreal but still believe that it exists, the world of success! I really do not know how to describe success, Excuse me!!!
It is painful to see so much suffering around, so many people whose self esteem is being hurt, so much compromise of self respect, so much drama and so much caution that leaves us with nothing but work on our minds all the time. In the bargain, health is lost, stress in every relationship is very high (in fact people are giving up on relationships and not the elusive world of success), there is no time to love yourself and others, No passion! The passion is dying or is it dead? I don’t know.
I would like to end by quoting what I think one of the soldiers had once said,
Iam the unwilling,
Led by the unqualified,
Doing the unnecessary,
For the ungrateful!
It‘s so full of passion. It is inspiring to think, to scratch the surface!
Iam willing to be the minority!!
It is a word that many of us use very frequently, a word we identify with almost every day of our lives, actually every moment. Live life with passion, work with passion etc are sentences we often hear. It is motivating to hear this and inspiring to see some people demonstrate ‘Passion’!
However we do not have a clear definition to this passion, as in every word, it is strongly subjective. A person working with passion is often judged by the result that the work produces. Most of the time it is the very result/reputation that determines the intensity of passion that the person displays… It is the visual of successful (or not) people that tells us something about passion. We take sides; some take inspiration from winners and some from underdogs.
In reality, it is the individual that knows about his/her passion and the biggest threat to that is the attempts to make the world around understand that he/she is passionate. It is here that the actual game starts, the game of life. We set out to prove to the boss, the peer, the friend, the spouse, the child, every acquaintance etc that ‘I Have Passion’. Sit up and take notice!
Now, I have to move on to the topic that is very close to me (us); corporate work culture. I believe Iam passionate and I believe that so is everyone else. But strangely that is not going to get me anywhere (so say a few wise souls).
The expected passion at work is,
1. Working long hours
2. Making the boss look good
3. Being available 24/7
4. Doing what the boss says, the boss is always right - a sure-shot way to grow ;)
I have always had a different opinion and Iam always strongly defending it. I had a discussion about this with one of my colleagues recently and I was trying to understand this particular ‘Corporate Work Management’. My point has always been, if Iam doing all that has been mentioned above, am I demonstrating any passion? If so, what passion do I have for my personal life?
I realized that in today’s world it is not ‘Passion’ it is ‘Caution’.
Don’t do this as the boss may not like it. Here, it is the only way to work. We are culturally very different. Don’t say this, don’t do this, don’t question, try to be sober, try to be in the boss’s good books, be careful of this person, he/she is well connected, don’t this and don’t that. Don’t, don’t and don’t. What a passionate life to lead?!! Wow, Iam thrilled!!
We are exercising only caution now and there is no time for passion. Even if there is it has to be passion with caution, what a joke!!
Scheming, planning and managing for that promotion. Sadly this is leading us to the non-existent world, which we all know is unreal but still believe that it exists, the world of success! I really do not know how to describe success, Excuse me!!!
It is painful to see so much suffering around, so many people whose self esteem is being hurt, so much compromise of self respect, so much drama and so much caution that leaves us with nothing but work on our minds all the time. In the bargain, health is lost, stress in every relationship is very high (in fact people are giving up on relationships and not the elusive world of success), there is no time to love yourself and others, No passion! The passion is dying or is it dead? I don’t know.
I would like to end by quoting what I think one of the soldiers had once said,
Iam the unwilling,
Led by the unqualified,
Doing the unnecessary,
For the ungrateful!
It‘s so full of passion. It is inspiring to think, to scratch the surface!
Iam willing to be the minority!!
Monday, March 8, 2010
PPO
It has been a pleasure to see my daughter, Dhriti, grow up and I have learnt more from her growing up than she would have from me. She is 4 years and 11 months old now and just about to complete her Kindergarten education and move into primary school. Wow! That feels good!
Dhriti has been going to school ever since she turned two, school in the morning and day care by afternoon. She made some friends, learnt to speak and is learning the rights and wrongs. (Really??!!)
I have a few friends, colleagues, acquaintances etc who also have kids and we end up discussing about our kids and kids in general. Strangely what we discussed 2 to 3 years ago, when our kids were just about 1.5 to 3 years old, and what we discuss now are extremely different. Earlier discussions were about happy things, which would make us smile a lot and de-stress but now it is all about schools, homework, pressure, fees, donations etc….depressing!
Now Iam beginning to wonder about the corporatized lifestyles the young parents of today have. Now it has given rise to corporate kids and corporate upbringing.
I realized that the ‘Parenting process’ has been outsourced - PPO.
Parameters outsourced: Education – Academic and Social,
Health – Food, medical facilities etc
Entertainment – School, computers, Videogames etc
When the kid turns 2years (I know of people who put their kids in day care right from when the kid turned 6months) the pressures of managing the kid starts creeping into the conversations of the parents. Frantic searches are made to find schools/day cares that have good hygiene, that serve food, feed the kids on time, teach them the alphabet and more, give medication on time if child is unwell, teach the kids good manners/values etc.
Then it is time for primary education, where the parents look for a school that could again give good food, great (ask them to define great, they wouldn’t be able to) academic education, teach arts, crafts, music, focus on sports, have medical facilities, pick up and drop facilities etc. The kids must leave home in uniform, grow up with their classmates and teachers and return home to bosses (parents) who would just understand what the child has done, through report cards/written reports and a chat for 15minutes with the child.
Tremendous stress, pressure and expectations now start building up on the child; competition, loosely defined excellence in academics and/or sports, excellent behavior etc becomes the KRAs for the child. Summer holidays are not for relaxation or for exploration and learning from nature, because there are summer-camps to teach the kids what they have to do with their lives. Again holidays and vacations together is also time-bound and agenda bound. No freedom for the child even on such outings!
The child then grows up to face the challenges of board exams, common entrance exams, college education etc.
The schools, right from kindergarten to college charge an arm and a leg. They have started advertising about the facilities, international standards, teacher - to - student ratio, their tie-ups etc to attract the (corporate) parents. The parents fall prey to this due to peer pressure and also perceived work/relationship pressure, both of which are non-existent to a great extent.
Come to think of it, any product or service is not created by an organization; it is created by the customer’s expectations.
The child of today is growing up like a corporate kid, who spends most of the time outside of home with unreal expectations. Saturdays and Sundays have special events, parents must participate too, and expensive hobbies, expensive excursions etc are the order of the day. Money shouldn’t matter you say, I agree, but how is the child growing up? He/she only gets to be monitored by parents at home, always hears a ‘No’ from either or both of the parents, does not see happy parents, grows up with external values (good or bad is a bad decision or judgment to make now), is at home only for dinner and sleep.
The parents are always busy, making even the ‘dinner together’ look like a chore, post which they could be back on their lap tops. On a day off the parents are too tired and often complain saying ‘Iam tired, don’t disturb’, ‘I can’t come out as Iam busy or Iam not well’. Even worse, the parents fight among each other trying to divide the work of taking care of the kid, making it even more corporate (stupid). And typically on weekends it is 'ordering out' for dinner as they are too tired to cook a meal and there is too much traffic to move out. The child eats 90% of the major meals outside. The child grows up to be one of you and the blame game continues with each parent telling the other what they did wrong. Basic values are missing; the earning couples/parents don’t have a goal, a real goal (this statement holds good to only people I know and have interacted with. It is not generally judgmental. The other readers may agree voluntarily ;))! They just keep going to their offices as if they were destined to or programmed to do only that.
The worst of all is that at the end of the day the kids keep hearing complaints about how they do not have manners, are indisciplined and why they don’t have any goals in life, why they don't get good marks or ranks in classes (while some of their friends can), they are supposed to be aggressive to be on their own and that their parents can’t feed them forever etc etc.
The parents are responsible for Comparisons, (bad) demonstration of values, Judgmental talks, and lack of self discipline. What we see in the child is exactly what we are like. Why is it that we are all talk and no action? Why blame the child and burden them with unrealistic expectations!? We got to own this up.
Any child’s sense of identity, till he/she becomes a teen, is the parents. The child looks up to them and their identity is what their parents are. During the teens, the child’s identity is determined by the friends they keep and thus they have a strong group identity. Once they complete the formal education, when the real education in life begins they form their own identity.
There are various influences that go into creating a personality, namely, parents, teachers, locality, social circle, region, nation and religion.
All I have to say is that we should start being more responsible toward building a home of love and values. Our jobs are Temporary! Our influence on a growing child is Permanent!
It’s not what you leave to your children; it’s what you leave in your children.
We cannot outsource everything! That’s nature!
Dhriti has been going to school ever since she turned two, school in the morning and day care by afternoon. She made some friends, learnt to speak and is learning the rights and wrongs. (Really??!!)
I have a few friends, colleagues, acquaintances etc who also have kids and we end up discussing about our kids and kids in general. Strangely what we discussed 2 to 3 years ago, when our kids were just about 1.5 to 3 years old, and what we discuss now are extremely different. Earlier discussions were about happy things, which would make us smile a lot and de-stress but now it is all about schools, homework, pressure, fees, donations etc….depressing!
Now Iam beginning to wonder about the corporatized lifestyles the young parents of today have. Now it has given rise to corporate kids and corporate upbringing.
I realized that the ‘Parenting process’ has been outsourced - PPO.
Parameters outsourced: Education – Academic and Social,
Health – Food, medical facilities etc
Entertainment – School, computers, Videogames etc
When the kid turns 2years (I know of people who put their kids in day care right from when the kid turned 6months) the pressures of managing the kid starts creeping into the conversations of the parents. Frantic searches are made to find schools/day cares that have good hygiene, that serve food, feed the kids on time, teach them the alphabet and more, give medication on time if child is unwell, teach the kids good manners/values etc.
Then it is time for primary education, where the parents look for a school that could again give good food, great (ask them to define great, they wouldn’t be able to) academic education, teach arts, crafts, music, focus on sports, have medical facilities, pick up and drop facilities etc. The kids must leave home in uniform, grow up with their classmates and teachers and return home to bosses (parents) who would just understand what the child has done, through report cards/written reports and a chat for 15minutes with the child.
Tremendous stress, pressure and expectations now start building up on the child; competition, loosely defined excellence in academics and/or sports, excellent behavior etc becomes the KRAs for the child. Summer holidays are not for relaxation or for exploration and learning from nature, because there are summer-camps to teach the kids what they have to do with their lives. Again holidays and vacations together is also time-bound and agenda bound. No freedom for the child even on such outings!
The child then grows up to face the challenges of board exams, common entrance exams, college education etc.
The schools, right from kindergarten to college charge an arm and a leg. They have started advertising about the facilities, international standards, teacher - to - student ratio, their tie-ups etc to attract the (corporate) parents. The parents fall prey to this due to peer pressure and also perceived work/relationship pressure, both of which are non-existent to a great extent.
Come to think of it, any product or service is not created by an organization; it is created by the customer’s expectations.
The child of today is growing up like a corporate kid, who spends most of the time outside of home with unreal expectations. Saturdays and Sundays have special events, parents must participate too, and expensive hobbies, expensive excursions etc are the order of the day. Money shouldn’t matter you say, I agree, but how is the child growing up? He/she only gets to be monitored by parents at home, always hears a ‘No’ from either or both of the parents, does not see happy parents, grows up with external values (good or bad is a bad decision or judgment to make now), is at home only for dinner and sleep.
The parents are always busy, making even the ‘dinner together’ look like a chore, post which they could be back on their lap tops. On a day off the parents are too tired and often complain saying ‘Iam tired, don’t disturb’, ‘I can’t come out as Iam busy or Iam not well’. Even worse, the parents fight among each other trying to divide the work of taking care of the kid, making it even more corporate (stupid). And typically on weekends it is 'ordering out' for dinner as they are too tired to cook a meal and there is too much traffic to move out. The child eats 90% of the major meals outside. The child grows up to be one of you and the blame game continues with each parent telling the other what they did wrong. Basic values are missing; the earning couples/parents don’t have a goal, a real goal (this statement holds good to only people I know and have interacted with. It is not generally judgmental. The other readers may agree voluntarily ;))! They just keep going to their offices as if they were destined to or programmed to do only that.
The worst of all is that at the end of the day the kids keep hearing complaints about how they do not have manners, are indisciplined and why they don’t have any goals in life, why they don't get good marks or ranks in classes (while some of their friends can), they are supposed to be aggressive to be on their own and that their parents can’t feed them forever etc etc.
The parents are responsible for Comparisons, (bad) demonstration of values, Judgmental talks, and lack of self discipline. What we see in the child is exactly what we are like. Why is it that we are all talk and no action? Why blame the child and burden them with unrealistic expectations!? We got to own this up.
Any child’s sense of identity, till he/she becomes a teen, is the parents. The child looks up to them and their identity is what their parents are. During the teens, the child’s identity is determined by the friends they keep and thus they have a strong group identity. Once they complete the formal education, when the real education in life begins they form their own identity.
There are various influences that go into creating a personality, namely, parents, teachers, locality, social circle, region, nation and religion.
All I have to say is that we should start being more responsible toward building a home of love and values. Our jobs are Temporary! Our influence on a growing child is Permanent!
It’s not what you leave to your children; it’s what you leave in your children.
We cannot outsource everything! That’s nature!
Monday, January 11, 2010
The stars and us
Astrology has always been very intriguing. It is so compelling in effect that when you visit an astrologer to have your future read, you actually create the future that the astrologer predicts. Mostly the negative instances in life ;)
I have been to astrologers before, some of their predictions did come true and some are yet to come true. I have challenged a few and I have won a few challenges. Iam not the one who would miss out on this experience, but… excuse me!
The experience of visiting an astrologer is powerful (scary too). After the visit it occupies a certain ‘mindshare’ and after a few predictions come true the ‘mindshare’ grows, this is one place where the share never comes down!
Stars reveal, ‘You will meet with an accident during so and so time. Be careful’. Oh yeah! I have been careless till now and hence I have not had an accident and I have to be careful so that I could prepare for an accident…hahahaha! If it’s destiny how could being careful ever change it? Silly, that’s why it is called an ‘ACCIDENT’ in the first place!
‘You are likely to go through a patch of bad health when you are between 33 and 36 years of age, be careful’. What does it mean? If Iam careful wouldn’t I go through the bad phase or if I know about it now, would it make any difference. Knowing it now means that I would go through bad health even now, waiting for that period. LOL
‘When will I get married?’ The astrologer says, ‘Now your time is not right for marriage. You will get married in your 31st year. Please perform certain religious activities, wear the diamond/coral/pearl/emerald etc to ensure that you get good luck’. In the first place the person visited the astrologer because he/she is not getting married; now he/she is told that the time is not right. Wonderful, Iam anyway going to get married only in my 31st year, would buying these things mean that I would get married any earlier? If this is destiny, how will it change? And if I do get good luck will I go back to the astrologer? What Bad luck!!
‘When will I get a job?’ The response is ‘certain planets are transiting, certain planets are in exaltation, according to the stars and planetary position based on your horoscope you will not find a job for the next 6months. The period is not favorable for a new job. You must visit this temple on every Tuesday and Thursday’. Great news, as such I have not been able to find jobs, now I will even give up trying for the next 6months and focus on going to the temple at a designated time on a prescribed day. Well, if only I had displayed the same passion and discipline in my job search or in my job.
The list goes on and on… when will I be rich, when will I win over my enemies, what kind of education line should I stick to, what kind of spouse will I get etc
The answers are simple, you will get married when you want/have to, you will meet with an accident and it is out of your control, dumbo that’s why it is called an accident. You will find a job when you try harder, you will be rich if you work hard and you will be educated in the line that you have an aptitude for and you always get what you deserve!
In reality, most of us, if not all, would like to know what the future has in store for us. The moment we hear good things we become instantly energized and when we hear the bad things we are constantly/perpetually worried.
Iam not ridiculing astrology, Iam not against religious activities! I have my respect for this! I only want to say that in the equation of life, past is a constant, you/ your mind is the variable and future is what you need to create. Look at the equation, you can’t do a shit about the past, the future is what you want and the only variable in your control is your mind.
The best way to predict the future is to create it!
Go to an astrologer if you must, but remember when you are there for the experience you say ‘Jahanpanah! Tussi great ho! Tohfah kabool keejiye!’
If you have watched 3 idiots you’d know what I mean. (If you haven’t watched it yet, go right now, I predict that you will have spent 3 good hours in your life’)
As Jack Welch said, ‘Control your destiny or someone else will’!
What we see depends mainly on what we look for!
You are a Star! Shine on!
I have been to astrologers before, some of their predictions did come true and some are yet to come true. I have challenged a few and I have won a few challenges. Iam not the one who would miss out on this experience, but… excuse me!
The experience of visiting an astrologer is powerful (scary too). After the visit it occupies a certain ‘mindshare’ and after a few predictions come true the ‘mindshare’ grows, this is one place where the share never comes down!
Stars reveal, ‘You will meet with an accident during so and so time. Be careful’. Oh yeah! I have been careless till now and hence I have not had an accident and I have to be careful so that I could prepare for an accident…hahahaha! If it’s destiny how could being careful ever change it? Silly, that’s why it is called an ‘ACCIDENT’ in the first place!
‘You are likely to go through a patch of bad health when you are between 33 and 36 years of age, be careful’. What does it mean? If Iam careful wouldn’t I go through the bad phase or if I know about it now, would it make any difference. Knowing it now means that I would go through bad health even now, waiting for that period. LOL
‘When will I get married?’ The astrologer says, ‘Now your time is not right for marriage. You will get married in your 31st year. Please perform certain religious activities, wear the diamond/coral/pearl/emerald etc to ensure that you get good luck’. In the first place the person visited the astrologer because he/she is not getting married; now he/she is told that the time is not right. Wonderful, Iam anyway going to get married only in my 31st year, would buying these things mean that I would get married any earlier? If this is destiny, how will it change? And if I do get good luck will I go back to the astrologer? What Bad luck!!
‘When will I get a job?’ The response is ‘certain planets are transiting, certain planets are in exaltation, according to the stars and planetary position based on your horoscope you will not find a job for the next 6months. The period is not favorable for a new job. You must visit this temple on every Tuesday and Thursday’. Great news, as such I have not been able to find jobs, now I will even give up trying for the next 6months and focus on going to the temple at a designated time on a prescribed day. Well, if only I had displayed the same passion and discipline in my job search or in my job.
The list goes on and on… when will I be rich, when will I win over my enemies, what kind of education line should I stick to, what kind of spouse will I get etc
The answers are simple, you will get married when you want/have to, you will meet with an accident and it is out of your control, dumbo that’s why it is called an accident. You will find a job when you try harder, you will be rich if you work hard and you will be educated in the line that you have an aptitude for and you always get what you deserve!
In reality, most of us, if not all, would like to know what the future has in store for us. The moment we hear good things we become instantly energized and when we hear the bad things we are constantly/perpetually worried.
Iam not ridiculing astrology, Iam not against religious activities! I have my respect for this! I only want to say that in the equation of life, past is a constant, you/ your mind is the variable and future is what you need to create. Look at the equation, you can’t do a shit about the past, the future is what you want and the only variable in your control is your mind.
The best way to predict the future is to create it!
Go to an astrologer if you must, but remember when you are there for the experience you say ‘Jahanpanah! Tussi great ho! Tohfah kabool keejiye!’
If you have watched 3 idiots you’d know what I mean. (If you haven’t watched it yet, go right now, I predict that you will have spent 3 good hours in your life’)
As Jack Welch said, ‘Control your destiny or someone else will’!
What we see depends mainly on what we look for!
You are a Star! Shine on!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
