Oxymoron...Life is!

I have a great idea! A ‘Constant Variable’!

When was the last time we felt bad about our boss (much younger readers to substitute boss with Parents, Boy/girl friend, school/college teacher etc) reprimanding us or telling us something absurd (in our esteemed opinion)? Not very long ago, right?!

We have always been told that our employers are ‘Gods…Bhagwan!’ because they pay us. Many Hindi, Tamil, Telugu (regional) movies have taught us that we need to respect and hold our employer in high esteem. One dialogue that I cannot forget is ‘Jis thali se Khaathe ho, usme chedh nahin karna’…loosely translated to read ‘never make a hole in the plate which you use to eat’…philosophically refers to the employer who gives you money (feeds you your bread and butter)...Don't wound the KING!

So with that premise we started leading a life of ‘Professional ethics’, ever since we started working…makes me feel real good when I talk about ethics…my pet topic. All of us have it but many of us choose wisely when to and when not to display it BUT we are well within our limits of decency even when we are not displaying it. Well, well ‘tis SUBJECTIVE! (pardon me!)

Our work-life revolves around ‘Corporate Culture’, ‘Politically Correct communication’, ‘Brainstorming Meetings’, ‘Controlled Aggression’ and my favorite ‘working with targets or ‘KRA - Key Result Areas’ on which our entire growth depends. (Am I hearing somebody say ‘how stupid’?! I agree with you…the boss plays a major role in developing and reading your KRA at the end of the year…Subjective Objectives!!).

Our life, growth, happiness, marital bliss, neighbors pride/envy, the banks’ survival, the pet’s happiness, friends’ happiness (subjective again…as usual Iam Gender sensitive) etc...in short the entire F...... world!! depends so much on your KRA and achievement.

Sometimes the situation is ‘Pretty Ugly’ at office/life in general, sometimes it could be ‘Seriously Funny’, some ‘Minor Crisis’, some ‘Great Depression’, some ‘Clear Confusion’ some ‘Open Secrets’, some ‘unbiased opinions’ and some ‘Near Misses’. That’s about how our life is generally lived!! Some insecurity, some loyalty, some rebellion, some responsibility and most of all Accountability and Purpose!!

Now for the idea!

Our politician…the entire government lives because we pay tax; the administration is full of ‘Public Servants’, which now makes us the employer. The Government, the Police, the Military, the Water-works, the Municipality, the Electricity Board etc are all surviving on the money we pay in the form of TAX…even the TAX Department lives off our money.
How would it be if we could be a Vice President, Manager, Assistant Manager, General Manager and CXO to prepare, discuss and measure performance of our ‘Servants'' (Iam being politically correct…Iam the PUBLIC) KRA on a monthly basis? How would it be to ‘Corporatize’ the Government functioning for us?! We live that way based on ‘Professional Ethics’ and some amount of insecurity to earn our daily bread and why should we let our employees (read servants) get away with murder and consistency in doing a bad job. They should be rated on the same scale ‘Outstanding achiever, Achiever, Meets Targets, Underperformer and FIRED’. We should strive for Perfection and tolerate only excellence! That about defines democracy for me!

Now, is this ‘Political Accountability’ a ‘Real Fantasy’ or a ‘True Dream’?! Is it like ‘Military Intelligence?!

Is it just an ‘Oxymoron’ that could be used for HUMOR?!

What ‘Sweet Sorrow’!! Let’s ‘Act Naturally’!! What would it take for us to achieve this desired setting?

This brings me to a ‘Rolling Stop’! I got to prepare for my quarterly appraisals and work on my KRA! Iam Accountable!!

Cheers!
Pavan

DND - Do Not Disturb!

It was about 11am this morning and I was sitting in a chair at an elite corporate hospital waiting my turn to see the doctor. I was surrounded by all kinds of people...sorry, patients! Some old, some young, some really young. Some had broken bones (me included), some were waiting for a 'Radiation' treatment, some for the neurologist and some for the urologist. Some were on wheel chairs and some on stretchers. I can only describe what I saw, the scene, the mad buzz, the loud wails of a child or some one waiting to be treated BUT I cannot describe the anxiety, anguish or pain one would have gone through. Surprisingly from a practical view it looked like, it's 'Business As Usual'. For the nurses, the ward boys, the doctors and the administrative staff it was just another day at work.

In the midst of such morose (in my opinion) settings, such pain and the added pain of waiting for the doctor, I was wondering about all the suffering and sorrow such small kids, such old people...age no bar...experience!! I suddenly realise (No, I didn't have a halo around my head) that Pain, Hunger, Thirst, Sorrow, Grief, Happiness that all of us experience do not have any bias. These are just like the sunlight/moonlight or the starlit sky or the Earth we walk which do not differentiate between the poor or rich, old or young, black or white (Iam tempted to mention the castes too...but I only know better) etc. It's simple, the SUN shines equally on everyone!! So what's my point now?? Wait, we have just reached the best part!

I must have spent about 2minutes in this scenario, with myriad thoughts, (I actually wrote about it in 2 paragraphs??!! Phew!) when my mobile phone rings. I pick up the call in 1 ring so as not to disturb my fellow-patients and the voice on the other side says 'Hello? (it was not a greeting, so the question mark) May I speak with Mr. Pavan Kumar?' and I said yes. The voice (a female) said, 'Good Morning sir! Iam calling from a real estate company. Could I explain our scheme to buy some open plots?'. I responded in the negative and didn't wait a second before I hung up (I was pleasant, I generally am). As soon as I hung up, my thoughts shifted to the phone calls all of us (atleast most of us) receive on a daily basis... selling insurance, investment plans, credit cards, offering loans, plots, what not!! Some of us are rude and some of us are pleasant in dealing with the callers.

I visualized the scene when many of my friends who have been hounded (they claim so) by these calls have asked many questions in anger...what kinda calls are these guys making? Don't they know when to call? Can't they understand Iam busy? They don't even know how to talk? How could they disturb me at any time they wish to? so on and so forth.

How much do we make of this innocuous call?! What a big fuss!

I sat quietly awaiting my turn with the doctor thinking about, how different are the people who are calling us? What parallels could I draw between what I see at the hospital at that moment and the calls that I receive everyday? This is not for the first time that I got into this mode of thinking, I clearly remember the occasions when I have told my friends who have taken offence to such callers (not calls) 'Boss what do you get by being rude with them. In the 30 seconds had you actually told them, thanks for your call, but Iam not interested in the offer', this could actually mean that we don't carry the bad taste forward (rather it leaves a good taste), we get on with our work and most importantly we help the caller get on with his/her work...which is, the next call!

In reality, they are actually doing their work, just like you and me, just like the hospital staff! It takes just one moment to realise the simple truth that 'Do Not Disturb' does not hold good only for us...it is common to all! I also want to share the experiences/learning I have had while training such tele-callers (I must have trained about 3000 tele-callers in my career) when I was working with the Banking and Telecom sectors. This probably would address some of the questions we ask (mentioned in the previous paragraphs).

Yes the telecallers are not greatly educated and don't have great language skills. They don't know who they are calling and they do not know that they are disturbing (how are they to know what you are doing at that time?). They just do what is being asked of them professionally and they are willing to learn. Think about it, if they were great and had good skills they would rather be sitting in your seat than calling you for some tele-sales. They actually need the money (a paltry sum) they earn, they have a family to support (most of them) and their confidence levels are not too great (they are not unlike you and me), yet they are professionals. What would it take for us to understand that we are being judgmental?! We call ourselves busy and we know the reality :)!!

Do Not Disturb!!

It's not just for you and me! Nobody likes to be disturbed in LIVING their LIFE!

Finally I did get to meet the doctor after 30minutes of waiting!!

Say Cheers mate!! Cheers to life!

Conventional Inconsistencies!!!

Antulay, Antulay, Antulay,

Karkare, Karkare, Karkare,

Thackeray, Thackeray, Thackeray,

Hindu, Hindu, Hindu,

Muslim, Muslim, Muslim,

Cricket, Cricket, Cricket

Crime, Crime, Crime

Recession, Recession, Recession

SRK, SRK, SRK,

Aamir, Aamir, Aamir,

Katrina, Katrina, Katrina,

Britney, Britney, Britney

Pakistan, Pakistan, Pakistan

BJP, BJP,

Congress, Congress

News, News, News,

Globalization, Globalization, Globalization,

Politics, Politics, Politics,

Society, Society, Society!!!

etc, etc, etc!!!

This is what we eat for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. This what we eat, sleep, drink and get a kick out of. Talk to the common man, i.e. US and you will not hear more than this in current affairs. A little more that you will hear is, my company is doing real bad, what a stupid boss I have, these guys running the government don't know a thing, a few expert comments about the recession and what should be done, something about sex scandals/women/men, some great sexual exploits, DOSTANA, a little about food, more about traffic, civic sense, how the entire system is failing!! and ofcourse some office gossip! Some wise people talk about managing marriage, bosses, girlfriends/boyfriends, Children, Career, human rights etc with the best of intentions.

I can't stop myself from making a special mention about the traffic in India... the vehicle that is breaking the rule is the one affiliated to the government! A simple rule to remember, the bigger the vehicle, the fancier the registration number the more the right to break rules and kick the asses of people who question them. They can come in the other direction, honk in peak/bumper-to-bumper traffic, overtake you from left/right or center (how's that possible you ask? Simple, they honk you to the left of the road and keep going straight) and zoom at break neck speed! Well, I had my say!!

After a tiresome day of managing your work, others' work and spending your wisdom, experience and intelligence on running the system, it is time to sleep. And then it is time to get up, look at that toothbrush, which you had always wanted to change a few days ago, brush, then shit, shave, s..., shower (as applicable, now I can't be blamed of being gender insensitive) and get dressed (now, now, there ain't no order to that, some of them manage a little multitasking in the morning). Getting dressed is quite a chore, looking for clothes that are ironed, socks, polish etc (aw come on not everyone is as organised). Then what? The process repeats itself!!

For all of us, what is that one thing that binds us? It is Sensationalism, an inexplicable affinity to controversy and the ever increasing awareness of all the wrong things around us that are waiting for our opinion through SMS or phone calls! WOW! This is quite a life to live!

Now, I have written something that I can't escape too! But there are questions to be asked,

How many of us know where our taxes are going?

How many of us have complained to the authorities about the pot holes on the road that we crib about everyday?

How many of us have caught people doing the right thing?

What measures are we taking to control the pathetic traffic condition/civic conditons?

Do we know who is accountable?

Are we ready to know the truth?

It's US, we are not independent of the system that we are blaming. What are we going to tell our children, our next generation about POLICE, LAW, RULES OF THE SOCIETY etc. Not all of us are related, even remotely, to the people in the GOVERNMENT, to be SAFE in this new WORLD and get away with murder!!

Honesty, Integrity, Sensitivity, Thoughtfulness, Compassion, Empathy, Respect etc seem to be just words. Iam writing (Blogging) for the first time to ask if we are using the greatest available resource to all of us, TIME, to create a better place.

We all have the best intentions, BUT, intentions without ACTIONS are of no use!!

Sensitivity Vs Sensationalism, Politics Vs Accountability, Compromise Vs Getting the rightful due and most of all creating a system that ensures Unity in Diversity! Quantity Vs Quality!

We are in the grip of 'Conventional Inconsistencies'. WE know it is an inconsisteny but it is so conventional and accepted that we just have to do it, for some it is second nature now!

Iam not done yet...So, what next over a cup of Irani Chai?!! Iam game!!