Most of the discussions (around evening time, with Irani Chai or some good drink) with friends and acquaintances seem to revolve around time, stress, life and most importantly the dreams in life!
I have always wanted to do something that would make me feel good! Plain!
Go to the gym, learn to play the guitar, learn slow dancing, some martial arts training, Travel to exotic locations, contribute to the society, RELAX etc are some of the things I WANT to do!
This is not very different from what some of my friends have shared during our discussions. Funnily, most of us have this dream about building a nice/big/huge house, have a lot of money in the bank and retire by the age of 40 and then do all the things we dream about. I must admit that talking and discussing about these things is a huge stress buster as it creates the much desired visual of a relaxed life.
Our evening discussions generally start off on a venting note…some cribs, complaints, profanity… then move into some humor, both practical and fantasy based, leading to the discussion about our dreams. The ending typically is, ‘ok! It’s time to hit the reality, stop dreaming the impossible! Go home and prepare for office tomorrow’.
Why? Because we all have just the 24 hours in a day! Just like everybody else!
No! That’s not true!
We all have the 25th hour!
The hour that is the dream! The hour that is a myth! The hour that we search for!
Does it exist? Yes it does! It is the same time that we spend on the negative influences, the time that we spend on dreaming with our eyes closed, the time that we dedicate to the TALK, the BLAME! I have now taken it upon myself to realize my dreams, one at a time, just begin to translate the ‘thoughts and talk’ into ‘actions’ and live the elusive 25th hour in every day of my life.
I will start, start now…A journey to a thousand miles starts with one small step! And as Tupac Shakur said ‘The only thing that come to a sleeping man are dreams!’
If we want to live our dreams the first step is to ‘Wake Up’ not get up!
I have one life, a life I want to live and realize the myriad dreams that I had so clearly seen! I will clear the dust that has blurred the vision (of my dreams) and dream endlessly as it is the greatest gift to mankind. I will dream now and make it happen; I will have the 25th hour and make it mine!
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler – Henry David Thoreau
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Random acts… Specific needs
We Need, We want and we look for:
Validation, Acknowledgement, Recognition,
Kindness, Courtesies, Magnanimity
Happiness, Elation, Bliss
Reciprocation, Understanding, Consideration
Love, Affection, Adulation
Authenticity, Genuineness, Originality
Trust, Certainty, Confidence
Abundance, Fortune, Prosperity
Progress, Success, Victory
Intent, Ambition, Purpose
Sensitivity, Connection, Harmony
Convenience, Comfort, Pleasure
The Acts:
?
Try,
Integrity, Values, Belief
Morals, Scruples, Conscience
Validation, Acknowledgement, Recognition,
Kindness, Courtesies, Magnanimity
Happiness, Elation, Bliss
Reciprocation, Understanding, Consideration
Love, Affection, Adulation
Authenticity, Genuineness, Originality
Trust, Certainty, Confidence
Abundance, Fortune, Prosperity
Progress, Success, Victory
Intent, Ambition, Purpose
Sensitivity, Connection, Harmony
Convenience, Comfort, Pleasure
The Acts:
?
Try,
Integrity, Values, Belief
Morals, Scruples, Conscience
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Slumdog Millionaire!
Iam frustrated! Why? Because I have worked for 7 different organizations in 11 years and Iam having to do the explaining to the prospective employers every time I shift. It is an emotional drain.
Why would I want to shift, is the question every one asks. The reality is; it is either because the job sucks/the manager sucks or plainly because the company is on the verge of a shutdown or Iam the victim of ‘Re-structuring’.
I think Naukri or Monster, don’t know which ad, beautifully depicts the current employment scenarios. A cricketer is shown washing clothes, a dancer is seen manning the signals for an aircraft in taxi mode, a rock guitarist teaching kids etc. This is the unfortunate reality. Most of the people I know (me included) are stuck to their jobs because of various commitments, almost everyone is in search of that ‘dream job’. I feel so dwarfed at times when I experience the ‘system’ (now that’s an entirely different topic :)).
Funny, when an organization could interview 100 odd candidates to select the ‘right fit’ for a role, why can’t a ‘Human resource’ do the same? Why shouldn’t he/she work in an organization and decide if it is right for him/her? The organizations evaluate performance and decide if the resource could stay or not, why can’t I? The organizations want overnight results, why can’t I? Well, we always have the system to blame; it is bigger than any normal/average individual.
Some of the wise and experienced professionals say ‘Loyalty’ or ‘long stints’ in an organization talks about one’s stability. Well, I know that when water stagnates it stinks and becomes a breeding ground for disease bearing organisms. Iam not disagreeing with what they say Iam just differing in my view! There is an adage in Hindi that says ‘The water that flows is pure’.
Then there are multiple human resource management, culture, organizational development theories that our MBAs and managers are exposed to, which are only used in a negative sense as though it applies only to the ‘Others’.
Iam a Human Resource, who, like any other resource needs to be harnessed well to reap the benefits. Human resources are not just tools! Well, in letter we have moved from HRM to Talent Management, Talent Retention, Talent Building etc, but in spirit, are we there?
Here’s what Jack Welch said, “HR matters enormously in good times and it defines you in bad.”
Never get emotionally attached to an organization, you never know when it won’t need you, Move out if you must! This is something in essence to what Narayana Murthy once said.
Deadwood stays, Talent moves! This is something I think Azim Premji said.
The reality is, managing a Human resource is a far bigger skill; it is not merely ‘handling’ employees. I could pull up a lot of theories now and start building a case, but it is not exciting for me to do it anymore. It is humbug, because most of the senior people I know use theories to talk big and in practice they demonstrate nothing. It is a matter of pride for us to know the theories and showcase it in interviews. When the rubber meets the road the true colors come out!
There is a place for everyone in this world and it is not right to be judgmental.
My reality is, Iam a ‘Slumdog Millionaire’, Iam educated with the several experiences I have gone through. I don’t need to possess educational ‘qualifications’ (though I have quite a few qualifications that way) or professional stability (loosely defined by others as loyalty to an organization) to answer the 'questions'. And just like in the movie such abilities may be doubted but the reality is, experience is a far bigger teacher and I will be a ‘Billionaire’! I just need to be at the right place at the right time! My quest is on for that right place! If it is non-existent maybe I’ll create one! All of us should build castles in air and remember to put strong foundations under them.
Shakespeare said 'Cowards die many a time before their deaths but the brave only die once'. I have a different connotation in this context and I leave it to the imagination of others to interpret. It is the beauty of life; fortunately, one size does not fit all!!
There are more such ‘Slumdog Millionaires’! Wait, the opportunity will soon knock!
Why would I want to shift, is the question every one asks. The reality is; it is either because the job sucks/the manager sucks or plainly because the company is on the verge of a shutdown or Iam the victim of ‘Re-structuring’.
I think Naukri or Monster, don’t know which ad, beautifully depicts the current employment scenarios. A cricketer is shown washing clothes, a dancer is seen manning the signals for an aircraft in taxi mode, a rock guitarist teaching kids etc. This is the unfortunate reality. Most of the people I know (me included) are stuck to their jobs because of various commitments, almost everyone is in search of that ‘dream job’. I feel so dwarfed at times when I experience the ‘system’ (now that’s an entirely different topic :)).
Funny, when an organization could interview 100 odd candidates to select the ‘right fit’ for a role, why can’t a ‘Human resource’ do the same? Why shouldn’t he/she work in an organization and decide if it is right for him/her? The organizations evaluate performance and decide if the resource could stay or not, why can’t I? The organizations want overnight results, why can’t I? Well, we always have the system to blame; it is bigger than any normal/average individual.
Some of the wise and experienced professionals say ‘Loyalty’ or ‘long stints’ in an organization talks about one’s stability. Well, I know that when water stagnates it stinks and becomes a breeding ground for disease bearing organisms. Iam not disagreeing with what they say Iam just differing in my view! There is an adage in Hindi that says ‘The water that flows is pure’.
Then there are multiple human resource management, culture, organizational development theories that our MBAs and managers are exposed to, which are only used in a negative sense as though it applies only to the ‘Others’.
Iam a Human Resource, who, like any other resource needs to be harnessed well to reap the benefits. Human resources are not just tools! Well, in letter we have moved from HRM to Talent Management, Talent Retention, Talent Building etc, but in spirit, are we there?
Here’s what Jack Welch said, “HR matters enormously in good times and it defines you in bad.”
Never get emotionally attached to an organization, you never know when it won’t need you, Move out if you must! This is something in essence to what Narayana Murthy once said.
Deadwood stays, Talent moves! This is something I think Azim Premji said.
The reality is, managing a Human resource is a far bigger skill; it is not merely ‘handling’ employees. I could pull up a lot of theories now and start building a case, but it is not exciting for me to do it anymore. It is humbug, because most of the senior people I know use theories to talk big and in practice they demonstrate nothing. It is a matter of pride for us to know the theories and showcase it in interviews. When the rubber meets the road the true colors come out!
There is a place for everyone in this world and it is not right to be judgmental.
My reality is, Iam a ‘Slumdog Millionaire’, Iam educated with the several experiences I have gone through. I don’t need to possess educational ‘qualifications’ (though I have quite a few qualifications that way) or professional stability (loosely defined by others as loyalty to an organization) to answer the 'questions'. And just like in the movie such abilities may be doubted but the reality is, experience is a far bigger teacher and I will be a ‘Billionaire’! I just need to be at the right place at the right time! My quest is on for that right place! If it is non-existent maybe I’ll create one! All of us should build castles in air and remember to put strong foundations under them.
Shakespeare said 'Cowards die many a time before their deaths but the brave only die once'. I have a different connotation in this context and I leave it to the imagination of others to interpret. It is the beauty of life; fortunately, one size does not fit all!!
There are more such ‘Slumdog Millionaires’! Wait, the opportunity will soon knock!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Relationship:
Relationship; can’t think of anyone who can live without one!
But what is it?! Relationship is nothing but expectations! Some of it is said and some is unsaid, some are cultural and some are personal etc! Remember, the strength of the relationship is always inversely proportional to the number of expectations (said and unsaid).
I have always wondered what makes it tick. Everything in the world is ‘Relative’! We have acquaintances, friends, relatives, blood relatives, so on and so forth! We have pigeon holes to slot our relationships. Today, with the increased stress levels (make-believe! Actually it is the increased awareness of the social rights and wrongs) the key word that is on everybody’s mind and lips is ‘Relationship’. We also have the added pressure of defining good and bad relationship. It’s so relative.
What makes it tick? I have a few thoughts to share from my 33 years, 150 Days, 3 hours and 42minutes of living!
In any relationship,
Think not, that communication is (only) in what is being said!
Know that, it is (also) in the unsaid!
Think not, that intimacy is only in physical presence!
Believe that, it is in spirit!
Seek not, to (only) understand the problems!
Strive (also) to be a part of the solution!
Don’t look for, ‘what I can but you don’t’!
Look for what I can’t and you do!
Think not that happiness is (only) in the doing!
Believe that it is (also) in the being!
Think not, that celebration is (only) in an occasion!
Believe that living is celebrating!
Think not that ‘differences’ is the enemy
Believe and make it your friend!
In trouble, don’t (only) think, ‘Oh God! Please take care!’
Believe that when you care you even please god!
Sometimes, when a relationship begins and takes shape it is like chasing a rainbow to find the treasure pot at its end! In the relationship, sometimes, you enter a tunnel, a dark tunnel; you keep walking, sure that there is light at the end. You walk a distance and start thinking, ‘Is there light?’ The tunnel keeps seeming longer and never- ending. You still keep walking and reach a point where you are frustrated and you want to turn back and you are unsure if the distance back is worth it or you should move on in the hope that you would see the light soon!
Sometime soon the decision is taken, ‘I’ll walk back’! At least I know that I started at a point where there is light!
Remember, that once you reach the tunnel the picture of your rainbow and the treasure pot starts fading and when you finally give up you don’t even remember that there ever was a rainbow!
This is the point, where I say, believe in the rainbow! When you start believing you will see that the light at the end of the tunnel is not the truth! You never entered a tunnel! The rainbow and the tunnel are your choices!
Iam not saying there is Utopia! Iam not saying there is ‘Ideal’!
Iam saying that it is in the priorities and respect!
The connotation is positive!! How is this ‘Simply Complicated’ truth seen and understood!?! It is relative!
A Strong Relationship is built on Trust
Trust is seen and understood from Behavior
Behavior is driven by Beliefs
Belief takes birth and grows from Values
Values are a reflection of your Conscience
Conscience is YOU!
YOU always drive the relationship! Trust enough!
But what is it?! Relationship is nothing but expectations! Some of it is said and some is unsaid, some are cultural and some are personal etc! Remember, the strength of the relationship is always inversely proportional to the number of expectations (said and unsaid).
I have always wondered what makes it tick. Everything in the world is ‘Relative’! We have acquaintances, friends, relatives, blood relatives, so on and so forth! We have pigeon holes to slot our relationships. Today, with the increased stress levels (make-believe! Actually it is the increased awareness of the social rights and wrongs) the key word that is on everybody’s mind and lips is ‘Relationship’. We also have the added pressure of defining good and bad relationship. It’s so relative.
What makes it tick? I have a few thoughts to share from my 33 years, 150 Days, 3 hours and 42minutes of living!
In any relationship,
Think not, that communication is (only) in what is being said!
Know that, it is (also) in the unsaid!
Think not, that intimacy is only in physical presence!
Believe that, it is in spirit!
Seek not, to (only) understand the problems!
Strive (also) to be a part of the solution!
Don’t look for, ‘what I can but you don’t’!
Look for what I can’t and you do!
Think not that happiness is (only) in the doing!
Believe that it is (also) in the being!
Think not, that celebration is (only) in an occasion!
Believe that living is celebrating!
Think not that ‘differences’ is the enemy
Believe and make it your friend!
In trouble, don’t (only) think, ‘Oh God! Please take care!’
Believe that when you care you even please god!
Sometimes, when a relationship begins and takes shape it is like chasing a rainbow to find the treasure pot at its end! In the relationship, sometimes, you enter a tunnel, a dark tunnel; you keep walking, sure that there is light at the end. You walk a distance and start thinking, ‘Is there light?’ The tunnel keeps seeming longer and never- ending. You still keep walking and reach a point where you are frustrated and you want to turn back and you are unsure if the distance back is worth it or you should move on in the hope that you would see the light soon!
Sometime soon the decision is taken, ‘I’ll walk back’! At least I know that I started at a point where there is light!
Remember, that once you reach the tunnel the picture of your rainbow and the treasure pot starts fading and when you finally give up you don’t even remember that there ever was a rainbow!
This is the point, where I say, believe in the rainbow! When you start believing you will see that the light at the end of the tunnel is not the truth! You never entered a tunnel! The rainbow and the tunnel are your choices!
Iam not saying there is Utopia! Iam not saying there is ‘Ideal’!
Iam saying that it is in the priorities and respect!
The connotation is positive!! How is this ‘Simply Complicated’ truth seen and understood!?! It is relative!
A Strong Relationship is built on Trust
Trust is seen and understood from Behavior
Behavior is driven by Beliefs
Belief takes birth and grows from Values
Values are a reflection of your Conscience
Conscience is YOU!
YOU always drive the relationship! Trust enough!
Friday, July 24, 2009
Democracy…?!
I can’t help but think of this and wonder why I feel so helpless!
A politician is accused of molestation and/or rape and he gets arrested. Then the drama unfolds, he has a cardiac problem and faints and his cronies and fellow politicians demand justice as our hospitals are not proper. Their explanation is that their leader could not take the tension of the arrest and he already suffers from sugar and what not!
Mayawati is spending over 1000 crores for her statue installation program. Our members of the parliament are discussing the cultural ill effects of a program called ‘Sach ka Samna’, which is a direct lift from the American program ‘Moment of truth’.
Our country is facing dire threats of violence, joblessness, hunger deaths, female feticide, population explosion, diseases, traffic problems, lawlessness, crime etc and here we have such self serving, weak, uneducated and egoistic leaders who we have voted to power.
If the stupid leader could not take the tension of arrest how in the freaking hell’s name would he be eligible to carry the pressures and tensions of serving millions of people?! Is this some kind of a joke? Do we need people like him?
The country and its people are suffering and our cunning and shameless leaders are busy installing statues? The people that have to be served are being ill treated and sometimes have to go through a long wait for Justice, which one will find if he/she is lucky. You got to be in .001% of the population to have that kind of luck.
The politics is getting dirtier and beyond reform! A civil war looks a possibility now as close to 75% of the Indian population is now young (below 40 years of age, I guess) and if they do not have jobs and their leaders use them to ‘Divide and Rule’, not even god can save us.
Before the uneducated and uncouth leaders talk about culture they should check themselves and ask their conscience, if they have one. Do they even know what culture means?
The old, haggard, ‘good for nothing’ politicians have power, property, black money, conservative views, criminal cases against them etc and they are leading a progressive country with a majority of young population into a future that our leaders will not even live to see! The world is forward looking and our leaders are still primitive in thoughts and actions! What an irony!!
Look at what is making headlines! What a cruel joke our democracy is!!
As for me Iam still the helpless citizen of the country and the world, who could only speak and not act. I feel like such a loser!!
A politician is accused of molestation and/or rape and he gets arrested. Then the drama unfolds, he has a cardiac problem and faints and his cronies and fellow politicians demand justice as our hospitals are not proper. Their explanation is that their leader could not take the tension of the arrest and he already suffers from sugar and what not!
Mayawati is spending over 1000 crores for her statue installation program. Our members of the parliament are discussing the cultural ill effects of a program called ‘Sach ka Samna’, which is a direct lift from the American program ‘Moment of truth’.
Our country is facing dire threats of violence, joblessness, hunger deaths, female feticide, population explosion, diseases, traffic problems, lawlessness, crime etc and here we have such self serving, weak, uneducated and egoistic leaders who we have voted to power.
If the stupid leader could not take the tension of arrest how in the freaking hell’s name would he be eligible to carry the pressures and tensions of serving millions of people?! Is this some kind of a joke? Do we need people like him?
The country and its people are suffering and our cunning and shameless leaders are busy installing statues? The people that have to be served are being ill treated and sometimes have to go through a long wait for Justice, which one will find if he/she is lucky. You got to be in .001% of the population to have that kind of luck.
The politics is getting dirtier and beyond reform! A civil war looks a possibility now as close to 75% of the Indian population is now young (below 40 years of age, I guess) and if they do not have jobs and their leaders use them to ‘Divide and Rule’, not even god can save us.
Before the uneducated and uncouth leaders talk about culture they should check themselves and ask their conscience, if they have one. Do they even know what culture means?
The old, haggard, ‘good for nothing’ politicians have power, property, black money, conservative views, criminal cases against them etc and they are leading a progressive country with a majority of young population into a future that our leaders will not even live to see! The world is forward looking and our leaders are still primitive in thoughts and actions! What an irony!!
Look at what is making headlines! What a cruel joke our democracy is!!
As for me Iam still the helpless citizen of the country and the world, who could only speak and not act. I feel like such a loser!!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Leadership?
Leaders are born, not made! Was a famous adage! Now in our lives in the corporate world we say Leaders are created!
This is very interesting for me as I have always wondered what leadership meant. Here Iam not talking about the world leaders or business leaders, Iam only talking about the leaders who have led me, led us through our careers so far. (The organizations prefer calling them the leadership team, fancy title for motivation)
I have been a ‘so-called leadership trainer’ handling sessions on how to deal with conflicts, how to collaborate, Team productivity, Coaching, Competency building, Feedback Skills, Presentation Skills, Presence etc for ‘Leaders’! BUT… I still have my question on who a leader is and what leadership means!
I went through ‘Situational Leadership’, studied about leadership styles, communication styles etc and also tried reading about our ‘Great leaders’. Did it help? I don’t think so! So I reflected on my professional journey to see what I could make of the leaders I worked with. I have worked with the ‘Directive Leaders’ who I felt lacked the human orientation, I have worked with the ‘Friendly Leaders’ with who I was comfortable and then I have worked with the other type who I call the ‘Non-leaders’ who believed in the concept of ‘One size fits all’!
With the Non-Leaders I have seen typical practices of using position based power/authority, creating fear and believing in getting work done under pressure. Success meant to them the way they defined it and they went about preaching their ways or some bookish ways that may have worked for them. They believed that by sheer virtue of their ‘professional experience’ their sub-ordinates should do as they are told or face dire consequences. They spoke loosely and took to gossip. Their discussions had a lot of ‘I’ in it. They resorted to favoritism, subjectivity and other biases. They would always say ‘I have been here for the last XX years and I know what works and what doesn’t. ‘You better do it this way’. They always were busy in meetings or taking decisions. They would be high on self-orientation and their policy would be ‘My way or the highway’. They were known more for the damage they could do to your career than for the enhancement.
Honestly and Sadly 97.5% (Don’t ask why 97.5%...I just liked this number) of the leaders I worked with were in this category. Their knowledge and their actions didn’t match. Their actions were the exact opposite of the views they would discuss and learn in their learning sessions. The loudest voice in a meeting is considered to be that of the best leader! They have redefined the meaning of AGGRESSION!!
From them I learnt what not to be!
Iam still trying to figure out if it really is difficult to practice what we have learnt, to be empathetic! Why do some of the so-called corporate leaders believe that success is in a position and confuse that with leadership skills?
In my journey so far I have met some really genuine people who did not have the position and hence were not called leaders!
The more I learn, the more sessions I conduct, the more leaders and people I meet, I realize that the leadership theory is deduced from analyzing various behaviors and consequences. Various experiences have been observed, recorded and analyzed for the benefit of our learning. Emulating is not merely practicing the behaviors of successful leaders but it is an opportunity to find out what each of us is. Emulate the success!
I think a leader is one who can/will contribute and be there when needed! A leader could be one who could respect his/her emotions and also understand the emotions of the others. A leader, I think, realizes his/her importance in seeing the success they create in the world. I think leadership is these values in practice! I don’t subscribe to the view that Leaders are born or for that matter leaders are created! I believe that each of us is a leader and when we scratch the surface we will see that it is not so difficult to understand, as we are the leaders of our destiny!
Iam sure there is more to it?
I welcome all the leaders to assist me in cracking this one!! My quest is still on!
This is very interesting for me as I have always wondered what leadership meant. Here Iam not talking about the world leaders or business leaders, Iam only talking about the leaders who have led me, led us through our careers so far. (The organizations prefer calling them the leadership team, fancy title for motivation)
I have been a ‘so-called leadership trainer’ handling sessions on how to deal with conflicts, how to collaborate, Team productivity, Coaching, Competency building, Feedback Skills, Presentation Skills, Presence etc for ‘Leaders’! BUT… I still have my question on who a leader is and what leadership means!
I went through ‘Situational Leadership’, studied about leadership styles, communication styles etc and also tried reading about our ‘Great leaders’. Did it help? I don’t think so! So I reflected on my professional journey to see what I could make of the leaders I worked with. I have worked with the ‘Directive Leaders’ who I felt lacked the human orientation, I have worked with the ‘Friendly Leaders’ with who I was comfortable and then I have worked with the other type who I call the ‘Non-leaders’ who believed in the concept of ‘One size fits all’!
With the Non-Leaders I have seen typical practices of using position based power/authority, creating fear and believing in getting work done under pressure. Success meant to them the way they defined it and they went about preaching their ways or some bookish ways that may have worked for them. They believed that by sheer virtue of their ‘professional experience’ their sub-ordinates should do as they are told or face dire consequences. They spoke loosely and took to gossip. Their discussions had a lot of ‘I’ in it. They resorted to favoritism, subjectivity and other biases. They would always say ‘I have been here for the last XX years and I know what works and what doesn’t. ‘You better do it this way’. They always were busy in meetings or taking decisions. They would be high on self-orientation and their policy would be ‘My way or the highway’. They were known more for the damage they could do to your career than for the enhancement.
Honestly and Sadly 97.5% (Don’t ask why 97.5%...I just liked this number) of the leaders I worked with were in this category. Their knowledge and their actions didn’t match. Their actions were the exact opposite of the views they would discuss and learn in their learning sessions. The loudest voice in a meeting is considered to be that of the best leader! They have redefined the meaning of AGGRESSION!!
From them I learnt what not to be!
Iam still trying to figure out if it really is difficult to practice what we have learnt, to be empathetic! Why do some of the so-called corporate leaders believe that success is in a position and confuse that with leadership skills?
In my journey so far I have met some really genuine people who did not have the position and hence were not called leaders!
The more I learn, the more sessions I conduct, the more leaders and people I meet, I realize that the leadership theory is deduced from analyzing various behaviors and consequences. Various experiences have been observed, recorded and analyzed for the benefit of our learning. Emulating is not merely practicing the behaviors of successful leaders but it is an opportunity to find out what each of us is. Emulate the success!
I think a leader is one who can/will contribute and be there when needed! A leader could be one who could respect his/her emotions and also understand the emotions of the others. A leader, I think, realizes his/her importance in seeing the success they create in the world. I think leadership is these values in practice! I don’t subscribe to the view that Leaders are born or for that matter leaders are created! I believe that each of us is a leader and when we scratch the surface we will see that it is not so difficult to understand, as we are the leaders of our destiny!
Iam sure there is more to it?
I welcome all the leaders to assist me in cracking this one!! My quest is still on!
Monday, July 6, 2009
The Checklist!!
Checklist for life/living! Here’s what I gathered from my various interactions, with various people and is inclusive of all the classes, ages etc etc etc… This is my understanding!
All of us need to review a checklist of activities and this captures a few of the most important ones in one’s life…in the present, past and future tenses! Iam kind of mid-way in life and hence the tenses are mixed up! :)
Have I got better marks all through my education?
Do I Look good?
Did I go to a well-known college?
Do/Did I have a girl/boy friend?
Am I having FUN?
Did I find a job in a big company?
Do I work for a big brand?
Do I go out to the ‘right places’?
Am I enjoying life?
Have I found the right life partner?
Do I have a ‘Happy Married Life’? (Someone once said, you could have a happy life or a married life…Hahahaha Hey Iam not endorsing this view ;))
Am I enjoying my life?
Did I get that promotion?
Do I have a child? (Or Children)
Do my kids speak good English, have good manners, and demonstrate intellectual and entertainment abilities? (More than one could ask of a ‘Mature’ and ‘Grown-up’ individual)
Do my kids go to an elite school?
Do I own a house and a ‘decent’ car?
Am I happy? Am I enjoying my life?
Have I made ‘influential’ friends and do I have status and do I get the respect?
Do I go on international vacation trips?
Have I planned for the next 5, 10, 15 years … to retirement? (This is what I call preparing for death and forgetting to live)
Do people consult me for advice?
Do I handle situations well?
Do people respect and appreciate me?
Do I have a big fat bank balance?
Have I saved enough?
Do I teach Lessons?
Is god with me?
Am I happy?
Did I enjoy life?
I always said to people who talk about planning and all other superficial comforts, using the convenience of a mysterious language called English, that they are preparing for death and forgetting to live! Why? Simply because LIFE is in the moment that we are alive not in the next 50 years when we retire!! I have been trying to follow a different checklist and believe me it is making life ‘Miserably Interesting and Exciting’
Am I literate or educated?
Am I good?
Do I work for money or for passion?
Am I working for a company or with a company?
Have I built a brand? What’s my brand?
Am I married for convenience or for love? Have I been the reason for happiness?
Have I demonstrated values for my children to learn and practice?
Do I have a HOME?
Do my people KNOW me?
Do I talk or act?
Have I done my good deed for the day, everyday?
Do I respect and appreciate people (all living things, actually)?
Did I conserve/preserve?
Do I create happiness?
Have I 'SEEN' the world?
Do I have a ‘VISION'?
Did I make a ‘difference’ to anyone in this world?
Do I matter to the ones who matter?
Do I understand and respect EMOTIONS and FEELINGS?
Do I create positive situations?
Have I had a positive impact/influence on the society?
Do I COMMUNICATE? Have I said the truth?
Have I gone beyond the superficial biases and prejudices?
Do I share experiences?
Do I believe in conscientious living?
Have I smiled enough?
Is life enjoyable?
I think we should ‘Take time and smell the roses’! In my opinion, while life is about intentions and actions, I (we) could do a little more by using in essence, the orientation and Interpretation!
All of us need to review a checklist of activities and this captures a few of the most important ones in one’s life…in the present, past and future tenses! Iam kind of mid-way in life and hence the tenses are mixed up! :)
Have I got better marks all through my education?
Do I Look good?
Did I go to a well-known college?
Do/Did I have a girl/boy friend?
Am I having FUN?
Did I find a job in a big company?
Do I work for a big brand?
Do I go out to the ‘right places’?
Am I enjoying life?
Have I found the right life partner?
Do I have a ‘Happy Married Life’? (Someone once said, you could have a happy life or a married life…Hahahaha Hey Iam not endorsing this view ;))
Am I enjoying my life?
Did I get that promotion?
Do I have a child? (Or Children)
Do my kids speak good English, have good manners, and demonstrate intellectual and entertainment abilities? (More than one could ask of a ‘Mature’ and ‘Grown-up’ individual)
Do my kids go to an elite school?
Do I own a house and a ‘decent’ car?
Am I happy? Am I enjoying my life?
Have I made ‘influential’ friends and do I have status and do I get the respect?
Do I go on international vacation trips?
Have I planned for the next 5, 10, 15 years … to retirement? (This is what I call preparing for death and forgetting to live)
Do people consult me for advice?
Do I handle situations well?
Do people respect and appreciate me?
Do I have a big fat bank balance?
Have I saved enough?
Do I teach Lessons?
Is god with me?
Am I happy?
Did I enjoy life?
I always said to people who talk about planning and all other superficial comforts, using the convenience of a mysterious language called English, that they are preparing for death and forgetting to live! Why? Simply because LIFE is in the moment that we are alive not in the next 50 years when we retire!! I have been trying to follow a different checklist and believe me it is making life ‘Miserably Interesting and Exciting’
Am I literate or educated?
Am I good?
Do I work for money or for passion?
Am I working for a company or with a company?
Have I built a brand? What’s my brand?
Am I married for convenience or for love? Have I been the reason for happiness?
Have I demonstrated values for my children to learn and practice?
Do I have a HOME?
Do my people KNOW me?
Do I talk or act?
Have I done my good deed for the day, everyday?
Do I respect and appreciate people (all living things, actually)?
Did I conserve/preserve?
Do I create happiness?
Have I 'SEEN' the world?
Do I have a ‘VISION'?
Did I make a ‘difference’ to anyone in this world?
Do I matter to the ones who matter?
Do I understand and respect EMOTIONS and FEELINGS?
Do I create positive situations?
Have I had a positive impact/influence on the society?
Do I COMMUNICATE? Have I said the truth?
Have I gone beyond the superficial biases and prejudices?
Do I share experiences?
Do I believe in conscientious living?
Have I smiled enough?
Is life enjoyable?
I think we should ‘Take time and smell the roses’! In my opinion, while life is about intentions and actions, I (we) could do a little more by using in essence, the orientation and Interpretation!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
We ARE what we SEE in others!!
I have been a little amused by the readiness in every individual (me included) to talk about others. We live in a society and there is a need to share opinions and thoughts. But sometimes it gets on my nerves and I don’t think anyone is alien to this situation…rather sometimes we create such a situation and don’t take ownership…oops!! it’s getting too relative now…that’s the fun in ‘Living’ I guess!
"Look at that guy he looks so funny... That girl is dressed in such a skimpy outfit/revealing dress, she is inviting trouble! Gone are the days when we had a conservative culture!! We are getting too westernized!! He/She has ‘Jumped’ 7 jobs in 12 years, he/she is unstable, it is going to impact his/her career."
"Our government is good for nothing… This job sucks… Dhoni made such stupid decisions… we must stop going to Australia… Zoo-Zoo ads are too good… the boss is too aggressive and unreasonable… He/she has been trying to find a job for 6 months now but must realize that there has to be a compromise…why can’t these beggars who are physically well find some work?! This book talks a lot about its author… People who don’t know how to drive should not be driving…look how easily these guys break the rules…"
Complaints, Complaints and more complaints!
We perceive so clearly and we judge so easily! Looks like we have a solution for every problem and an opinion on anything… We are so Discerning, Discriminating, Civil and Knowledgeable! And What do we do about it?! We return to the superficial comforts of our homes and claim to be duty minded about family and Job!!
Ever wondered about this?!
How many of us have always ranked first in every class, every subject at school/college?
How many of us at job have been promoted every year with a 100% growth?
How many of us have excelled in sport and won 1st prize in any event all the time?
Have you ever written a book, a best seller? Do you know what it takes to be an author?
Are we literate or educated?
Can we provide a job/livelihood to the ‘Physically-well Beggars’ or all the beggars?
Are we successful in maintaining every relationship that we form?
Can we run our household on a budget without deviations?
Can you live happily?
Can you define success, good, bad, ugly, beauty, wisdom, right, wrong etc?
Do we trust all our friends and relatives?
Do you trust your society?
Are YOU Friendly, Trustworthy, Dependable and Honest?
Don’t you crave for status and fame?
Are you ready to be vulnerable in public?
When we are so (Hypo)critical, when we see clearly, do we understand that what we see is through our lens (Biases)? Do we realize that the negative we see in others is probably a reflection of what is inside us?
It takes one to know another! (I don't claim to be an Exception!!)
May be we ARE what we SEE in others!
"Look at that guy he looks so funny... That girl is dressed in such a skimpy outfit/revealing dress, she is inviting trouble! Gone are the days when we had a conservative culture!! We are getting too westernized!! He/She has ‘Jumped’ 7 jobs in 12 years, he/she is unstable, it is going to impact his/her career."
"Our government is good for nothing… This job sucks… Dhoni made such stupid decisions… we must stop going to Australia… Zoo-Zoo ads are too good… the boss is too aggressive and unreasonable… He/she has been trying to find a job for 6 months now but must realize that there has to be a compromise…why can’t these beggars who are physically well find some work?! This book talks a lot about its author… People who don’t know how to drive should not be driving…look how easily these guys break the rules…"
Complaints, Complaints and more complaints!
We perceive so clearly and we judge so easily! Looks like we have a solution for every problem and an opinion on anything… We are so Discerning, Discriminating, Civil and Knowledgeable! And What do we do about it?! We return to the superficial comforts of our homes and claim to be duty minded about family and Job!!
Ever wondered about this?!
How many of us have always ranked first in every class, every subject at school/college?
How many of us at job have been promoted every year with a 100% growth?
How many of us have excelled in sport and won 1st prize in any event all the time?
Have you ever written a book, a best seller? Do you know what it takes to be an author?
Are we literate or educated?
Can we provide a job/livelihood to the ‘Physically-well Beggars’ or all the beggars?
Are we successful in maintaining every relationship that we form?
Can we run our household on a budget without deviations?
Can you live happily?
Can you define success, good, bad, ugly, beauty, wisdom, right, wrong etc?
Do we trust all our friends and relatives?
Do you trust your society?
Are YOU Friendly, Trustworthy, Dependable and Honest?
Don’t you crave for status and fame?
Are you ready to be vulnerable in public?
When we are so (Hypo)critical, when we see clearly, do we understand that what we see is through our lens (Biases)? Do we realize that the negative we see in others is probably a reflection of what is inside us?
It takes one to know another! (I don't claim to be an Exception!!)
May be we ARE what we SEE in others!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Lawful or Awful!!?
In Bihar:
A guy from a poor family elopes and marries a girl from a wealthy family. The result: members from the guy’s family (I guess the guy is included) are invited home by the in-laws with the pretext of compromise and 8 of them are killed, beheaded and the bodies thrown into the river.
In Mangalore:
People and women in particular are attacked and this is captured on TV. The next ting, we know, it is a national debate and a seemingly insignificant person, Muthalik and his small party, Ram Sena, has now gained popularity, whether right or wrong, we all know. The police are investigating while the criminals are roaming the roads doing more damage. Now there are more jobless, mindless youth/politicians from other states who want to embrace the SENA!!
In Uttar Pradesh:
Some engineer from the government services is beaten to death for not willing to give money for a very holy cause, the Chief Minister’s birthday bash. A 8 year old poor girl is tortured and beaten by the police in full view of the public because she is accused of having stolen rupees 280.
In Hyderabad:
A car driver honks and annoys the people in the car ahead. This happens for some time and then what follows is an ugly scene on the road with both parties fighting on the road, holding up traffic and it is all over the news. The (CM) Chief Minister’s brother is in one car and a (in) famous MLA’s son in the other. This makes news for a week. This was not so long ago.
The current CM and the former CM indulge in petty politics by talking about the (in) capabilities of their sons and their family in general. The other opposition parties take the cue and start talking about the incapability of both the parties. This makes front page news.
Of course, the Satyam scam is hogging all the lime light… by now you know more than the perpetrators do. Thanks to the media.
You must see the Police, Media, law-keepers etc in a frenzy to make their money by serving these very public servants. Whose money are they eating? Yours, Mine…ours. We pay the taxes.
In India:
A terrorist is captured and now he is the most protected man. What for… International diplomatic reasons… People are dying of hunger, poverty, crime etc, there is lack of education, funds being eaten away, no proper infrastructure or accountability and the news papers report crimes by the rich and (in) famous, the mighty and the powerful, all the time. And now there is a new spice item every day, woman/girl gang raped, the offenders are not noted criminals, this is their first time, screams the TV or Newspaper.
What is this nonsense? When was the last time we heard a newspaper or the TV report ‘Politician caught red handed and arrested for taking a bribe’, ‘Famous actor jailed for breaking traffic rules and creating chaos on the road’. Whatever happened to Salman Khan?
Why is it that we the citizens and honest tax payers (especially from the middle class) have to suffer all these atrocities and illegal acts? Why are the law keepers turning law makers? What is the POWER?
I would personally like to see the people from Ram Sene who attacked the girls in Mangalore be given punishment in public, probably should be castrated. The family that beheaded 8 people should have their limbs cut off so that they live their life like a vegetable. The politicians who talk petty be given some feedback in public, by the public.
All this for the sake of rebuilding faith and trust that the people have lost in the legal and administrative system of India and letting the people know what democracy means.
Let’s stop this INSANE behavior by multiple moral armies coming up in India…NOW. (IN SENA?) (Ram Sena, Shiv Sena etc) No wonder we were so easily captured and ruled by the British. Let’s not have a false pride in our ‘Unity in Diversity’. Let’s not fool ourselves every day and moment of our lives. Let’s face it…we no longer need octogenarian politicians (mis) lead us with their moral views for the public and personal immoral living. There is no way weapons/terrorists could come into our country illegally without the support of our law keepers. There is failure in every sense. Let’s change our ATTITUDE and help our politicians change theirs.
Power is the capacity to bring about change. Let’s really mean it when we say Jai Hind!!!
A guy from a poor family elopes and marries a girl from a wealthy family. The result: members from the guy’s family (I guess the guy is included) are invited home by the in-laws with the pretext of compromise and 8 of them are killed, beheaded and the bodies thrown into the river.
In Mangalore:
People and women in particular are attacked and this is captured on TV. The next ting, we know, it is a national debate and a seemingly insignificant person, Muthalik and his small party, Ram Sena, has now gained popularity, whether right or wrong, we all know. The police are investigating while the criminals are roaming the roads doing more damage. Now there are more jobless, mindless youth/politicians from other states who want to embrace the SENA!!
In Uttar Pradesh:
Some engineer from the government services is beaten to death for not willing to give money for a very holy cause, the Chief Minister’s birthday bash. A 8 year old poor girl is tortured and beaten by the police in full view of the public because she is accused of having stolen rupees 280.
In Hyderabad:
A car driver honks and annoys the people in the car ahead. This happens for some time and then what follows is an ugly scene on the road with both parties fighting on the road, holding up traffic and it is all over the news. The (CM) Chief Minister’s brother is in one car and a (in) famous MLA’s son in the other. This makes news for a week. This was not so long ago.
The current CM and the former CM indulge in petty politics by talking about the (in) capabilities of their sons and their family in general. The other opposition parties take the cue and start talking about the incapability of both the parties. This makes front page news.
Of course, the Satyam scam is hogging all the lime light… by now you know more than the perpetrators do. Thanks to the media.
You must see the Police, Media, law-keepers etc in a frenzy to make their money by serving these very public servants. Whose money are they eating? Yours, Mine…ours. We pay the taxes.
In India:
A terrorist is captured and now he is the most protected man. What for… International diplomatic reasons… People are dying of hunger, poverty, crime etc, there is lack of education, funds being eaten away, no proper infrastructure or accountability and the news papers report crimes by the rich and (in) famous, the mighty and the powerful, all the time. And now there is a new spice item every day, woman/girl gang raped, the offenders are not noted criminals, this is their first time, screams the TV or Newspaper.
What is this nonsense? When was the last time we heard a newspaper or the TV report ‘Politician caught red handed and arrested for taking a bribe’, ‘Famous actor jailed for breaking traffic rules and creating chaos on the road’. Whatever happened to Salman Khan?
Why is it that we the citizens and honest tax payers (especially from the middle class) have to suffer all these atrocities and illegal acts? Why are the law keepers turning law makers? What is the POWER?
I would personally like to see the people from Ram Sene who attacked the girls in Mangalore be given punishment in public, probably should be castrated. The family that beheaded 8 people should have their limbs cut off so that they live their life like a vegetable. The politicians who talk petty be given some feedback in public, by the public.
All this for the sake of rebuilding faith and trust that the people have lost in the legal and administrative system of India and letting the people know what democracy means.
Let’s stop this INSANE behavior by multiple moral armies coming up in India…NOW. (IN SENA?) (Ram Sena, Shiv Sena etc) No wonder we were so easily captured and ruled by the British. Let’s not have a false pride in our ‘Unity in Diversity’. Let’s not fool ourselves every day and moment of our lives. Let’s face it…we no longer need octogenarian politicians (mis) lead us with their moral views for the public and personal immoral living. There is no way weapons/terrorists could come into our country illegally without the support of our law keepers. There is failure in every sense. Let’s change our ATTITUDE and help our politicians change theirs.
Power is the capacity to bring about change. Let’s really mean it when we say Jai Hind!!!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
My New Year...lessons from a Child!
I thought long and hard about this one. I really did!
My daughter has been quite an influence on me! She is 3years and 8months old and watching her grow has taught me a few lessons, not new lessons, these are the very same actions and feelings (or innocence) we grew up with. (This is not just what I see in my child, Iam writing about all the children) It saddens me to think that my child will grow up too and become ‘One of Us’, she too will soon forget her ‘Childhood’ and be consumed by pressure – from parents, teachers and peers, well, that’s the way life is! (You might say it too). I will be practical here and enjoy the present, ‘live in the moment’!
Iam now tempted to attempt to relive the childhood days based on the 5E’s that are constantly exhibited by my child (All children, actually)… Energy, Enthusiasm, Excitement, Expression and Experimentation…in no particular order!
My daughter exhibits boundless energy through the day, always experimenting (that’s how children learn, actually, all of us), expresses her feelings in a not-so-diplomatic or complicated way, excited about small successes (like completing her dinner on time or a glass of milk etc) and enthusiastic about being at home, a small trip in the car or just plain ‘going shopping’! There is a sense of adventure in every small experiment (like trying to use colors on the walls…which is a no-no) which eventually leads to ‘big learning’!
There is celebration for small successes; there is excitement/enthusiasm about a small gift (ranging from a pencil to a dairy milk chocolate) and innocence in expression. She is so persistent, so open, so playful, and so curious/inquisitive…so right in what she thinks or does (we actually put in the sense of judgment). She sleeps when she wants/needs to, eats when she wants/needs to, plays when she wants/needs to, basically she does what she wants to (till we tell her)!
Let’s isolate the thoughts of teaching her/them (the children) the ‘Rights and Wrongs’ (really, there is no definition, there is just acceptance) of life, I agree we need to guide them! Let’s look at the actions from a pure view point of what they actually mean. This view gives me clear insight into my day to day actions that are filled with ‘Expectations’, mine and the others’. Every action of mine is ruled by the intentions, actions, expectations and orientation of others. Then there is also social, professional and personal classifications of class, authority, power etc. Iam beginning to wonder if Iam living my life or it’s like in the movie ‘Matrix’, where everything is programmed and it is like an action sequence pulled over our eyes to view.
What does it take for me (us) to cry when we want to, laugh when we want to, play when we want to and basically live like we want to? I have no answers, maybe we are incorrigible or maybe that’s how nature willed us to grow. We have our own set of (pure) feelings with different definitions. We hurt the ones who matter the most (because of mindless expectations and misplaced priorities) and we treat everyone else (some insignificant and some significant) with respect and social etiquette. Why?
I leant the art of ‘why-why’ analysis from six-sigma tools about 8 years ago and more recently from my daughter!
This New Year I want to (I will attempt to) exhibit the 5Es and say FOFF (we use it every day) to anything that comes in the way of my dream and I… I have the license to dream, Iam a born dreamer, a Piscean!! (That’s probably the 1st thing all of us would say when we hear ‘Piscean’ … so conditioned!!)
My daughter has been quite an influence on me! She is 3years and 8months old and watching her grow has taught me a few lessons, not new lessons, these are the very same actions and feelings (or innocence) we grew up with. (This is not just what I see in my child, Iam writing about all the children) It saddens me to think that my child will grow up too and become ‘One of Us’, she too will soon forget her ‘Childhood’ and be consumed by pressure – from parents, teachers and peers, well, that’s the way life is! (You might say it too). I will be practical here and enjoy the present, ‘live in the moment’!
Iam now tempted to attempt to relive the childhood days based on the 5E’s that are constantly exhibited by my child (All children, actually)… Energy, Enthusiasm, Excitement, Expression and Experimentation…in no particular order!
My daughter exhibits boundless energy through the day, always experimenting (that’s how children learn, actually, all of us), expresses her feelings in a not-so-diplomatic or complicated way, excited about small successes (like completing her dinner on time or a glass of milk etc) and enthusiastic about being at home, a small trip in the car or just plain ‘going shopping’! There is a sense of adventure in every small experiment (like trying to use colors on the walls…which is a no-no) which eventually leads to ‘big learning’!
There is celebration for small successes; there is excitement/enthusiasm about a small gift (ranging from a pencil to a dairy milk chocolate) and innocence in expression. She is so persistent, so open, so playful, and so curious/inquisitive…so right in what she thinks or does (we actually put in the sense of judgment). She sleeps when she wants/needs to, eats when she wants/needs to, plays when she wants/needs to, basically she does what she wants to (till we tell her)!
Let’s isolate the thoughts of teaching her/them (the children) the ‘Rights and Wrongs’ (really, there is no definition, there is just acceptance) of life, I agree we need to guide them! Let’s look at the actions from a pure view point of what they actually mean. This view gives me clear insight into my day to day actions that are filled with ‘Expectations’, mine and the others’. Every action of mine is ruled by the intentions, actions, expectations and orientation of others. Then there is also social, professional and personal classifications of class, authority, power etc. Iam beginning to wonder if Iam living my life or it’s like in the movie ‘Matrix’, where everything is programmed and it is like an action sequence pulled over our eyes to view.
What does it take for me (us) to cry when we want to, laugh when we want to, play when we want to and basically live like we want to? I have no answers, maybe we are incorrigible or maybe that’s how nature willed us to grow. We have our own set of (pure) feelings with different definitions. We hurt the ones who matter the most (because of mindless expectations and misplaced priorities) and we treat everyone else (some insignificant and some significant) with respect and social etiquette. Why?
I leant the art of ‘why-why’ analysis from six-sigma tools about 8 years ago and more recently from my daughter!
This New Year I want to (I will attempt to) exhibit the 5Es and say FOFF (we use it every day) to anything that comes in the way of my dream and I… I have the license to dream, Iam a born dreamer, a Piscean!! (That’s probably the 1st thing all of us would say when we hear ‘Piscean’ … so conditioned!!)
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